High life
Tanker tales
Taki
Vessels are like people, some luckier than others. The sinking of the Achille Lauro was typical of a bad-luck ship. It was often chartered out for Eurotrash parties, but something or other always got in the way of a good time. I never heard of any- one enjoying themselves on board, except just prior to its catching fire, when the oldies in dinner jackets were tripping the light fantastic until. . . .
The only good luck the ship had was in last week's mishap. Remarkably, only three people perished. Sailors have always believed that ships have souls, and even more so, that ships are lucky or unlucky. Take, for example me and mine. My father named a tanker after me back in the Fifties — Takoil — and from the very start it was a bummer. On the other hand, a ship named after my older brother, the Hany T., steamed happily along and made lotsa moolah. The Takoil was sold after my old man decided it was 'as useless as my younger son'. The new owners changed the name — a real no-no as far as the sea is concerned — and the ship had even worse results.
My old dad tried again, however. No sooner was my daughter born, he ordered a 26,000 ton bulk carrier in Japan. By the time the ship was ready to be launched, my little girl flew over and broke the tradition- al bottle of champagne across the bow for good luck. But it did no good. The Man- dolyna hit the worst market as soon as she began trading, so my father challenged the Gods, sold her, and ordered a 62,000 ton tanker which he also named Mandolyna. The market went from bad to worse. Goodbye Mandolyna.
Old John Theodoracopulos was a fear- less businessman, but he was also very superstitious. I remember he called me into his office and announced that although he loved his children and grandchildren more than life itself, there would never be any ship named after us ever again. Soon after the shipping market began to rise.
Ever since his death, I've been trying to name a ship after him, but our office has resisted. Now that my brother and I have amicably separated our business, I sudden- ly find myself reluctant to do it. And even when I look back at my pleasure boat, the Bushido, it tends to discourage me. I changed the name and look what hap- pened. Some bum or bums blew it up, and with it my chances of picking up girls.
Back in the good old days I regularly criss-crossed the Atlantic by ocean liner. The Constitution, of American Export Lines, was not only the most romantic of ships, it was also very lucky for the Taki family. While crossing on the southern route in 1952, my daddy decided to pur- chase eight ships, an enormous undertak- ing back then. While sitting on Captain Jacobsen's table during that particular trip, I met a beautiful girl from Texas, and something a man never forgets took place on board. The Constitution even served for the shipboard romance of that most won- derful of films, An Affair to Remember (the one starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr, not the ludicrous remake with War- ren Beatty and his missus).
'The Prince Prince of Wales designed the oil rig.' Nothing written about ships and luck iS complete without a mention of the Titanic, whose soul has now been disturbed by mod- em technology. The real bad luck of that great ship was not only the loss of 1,523 lives, it was also that it became the harbinger of things to come. In fact, the rot started with the Titanic's Wagnerian end.
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