YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED Dear Mary
Q. Recently I agreed to a male friend of mine’s suggestion to take out a couple that we both know. I said that I would pay for half the dinner as the couple had entertained me many times. The male friend had recently joined an old established club and wanted to take the couple there, so I agreed. I told him to let me know discreetly at the end how much my half of the bill would be. I then arranged a convenient date with the couple as he asked me to do this. However, at the dinner itself, as the evening wore on, I became worried that the couple kept saying how nice his club was and it became clear to me that they did not realise that I was co-hosting the dinner. I waited in vain for him to mention it to them but he never did. For me to say it at the table was, I thought, the height of vulgarity (to use a phrase that my mother taught me). After dinner, as I walked up the staircase with the wife, I did say, ‘By the way, you do know I’m co-hosting the dinner.’ Mary, did I do wrong, and was I being childish in expecting him to give me some of the credit? Was there a more subtle way that I could have let slip this information?
Name and address withheld A. You are a correspondent who is personally known to me and I am familiar with your own inimitable style, so I judge you would have got away with saying what you said and it would have been received with good humour. For readers faced with a similar scenario let us pretend the co-host’s name was Michael. After, say, the third compliment about the club had met with no elucidation from Michael, you could have replied, ‘Well, Michael and I wanted to take you somewhere you would enjoy because we’ve both been entertained very well by you and we owe you a good evening. The great thing about this club is that they don’t mind one of the non-members going halves on a dinner here. Just so long as Michael pretends to pay, and I settle up with him afterwards, they are prepared to turn a blind eye.’ Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? Heavy duty red felt of the type with which we wrap the Christmas tree bucket also makes an excellent festive table cloth at this time of year. Not only does it cost as little as £7.95 per metre with a width of 1 metre 80 cms, but you can put hot dishes straight onto it without protective matting and hide all manner of presents and clutter underneath.
M.W., Wiltshire A.Thank you for this useful tip.
Q. Your advice to A.E. (3 December) on how her husband might advertise his ownership of a Maserati was spot-on. May I share an equally effective ploy? Some years ago I had the use of an Aston Martin DB7 for a few weeks. I parked in the pub car park ten minutes before the quiz was to begin; I left the headlights on. Right on cue, via a microphone no less, the landlord asked, ‘Does anyone own a silver Aston Martin?’ ‘Um, yes,’ I said. ‘You’ve left your lights on.’ ‘Tsch! What an idiot.... ’ By the time of the first break I had been transformed into an interesting person.
M. H-J., Llannon, Carmarthenshire A. Thank you for your valued contribution.
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