Q. I wonder if you can help. I have been
summoned to attend a general diocesan synod meeting. These gatherings of more than 800 der* and laity are dull in the extreme. Such issues as 'The report of the Strategic Planning Task team on human relations' and 'The official policy on fairness, simplicity and transparency within the Cape Town diocese' will all be featured. How can I ensure I survive this five-day ordeal with my wit and Christian faith intact? On previous occasions I have tried the schoolboy ruses of arriving late, sitting behind pillars or sitting at the back, but all to no avail.
R.F., Cape Town, South Africa A. Sadly, an enormous number of wrong decisions are taken literally on the nod, as those with the power to vote against thenz have nodded off through boredom. Why not keep your brain alert by using an old tip employed by an informant of mine, a former clerk at the House of Lords? In preparation fbr sitting at the table of the House listening to dull debates, he would cut up a paperback thriller, punch holes in the margins and ,flt the pages into a ring-back folder. He would thereby give the impression of studying the contents of a file of relevant documents while actually reading an enjoyable hook Give yourself a target of ten or 20 pages at a time — then a listening break — to ensure that you are not missing out on anything vital.
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