Sir: I think that I can attribute my early appearance before the parole board to an improvement in my character which is a direct result of regularly reading your journal, which I did not know before I began my time here. I must, however, object to the rank hypocrisy displayed in Wallace Arnold's column. Never once has he alluded to his own spell within these walls. I dare not say more lest I risk a libel action (and, who knows, end up here once more), but I think it safe to reveal that he was known to inmate and warder alike as `Bruiser'.
Cell B404, Lewes Jail, Sussex