10 SEPTEMBER 1983, Page 32

No. 1283: The winners

Barney Blackley reports: Competitors were asked for 12 lines of verse commenting on

this magazine and its features, the first let- ters of the lines spelling out THE SPEC- TATOR.

A good entry, showing verve, wit and af- fectionate familiarity with the paper. More of you praised than complained, and you produced some succinct characterisations. 'This weekly feast of culture and of wit,' began John Sweetman; and Philip Peacock concluded: 'On the whole, for what it's worth, Right of Centre and down to Earth.' Taki and Jeffrey Bernard — 'the Dives- Lazarus blend', as 0. Bonfield called them — drew more comment pro and con than any other feature.

The entries which showed most technical originality tended to come unstuck because of the self-imposed difficulties. Bob

Knowles, for instance, produced a double acrostic, with THE SPECTATOR running

down the right-hand side as well, but strayed from his theme in the process. J. M. C. Hepple almost made the winners' enclosure by alliterating each line ('Ribald, reactionary, roughly RIGHT', he ended), but spoilt his chance by misspelling several words.

Although Jerome Johnson's latin hex- ameters also contain one or two imperfec- tions, according to my expert adviser (false quantities, he called them), and although, in common with several of you, he is un- complimentary about Jaspistos, he gets full marks for effort. Eight pounds to him and to each of the other winners printed below.

The bonus bottle of Pimm's No.1 goes to George Moor. Despite one baffling line

(which I think I have finally understood) his entry seems to me to stand alone for easy elegance.

To bring the brain due weekend ease Hetairac-like must journals be — Excelling in the gifts that please, Saucy — but with an arts degree.

Pure Addison and raffish Steele, Exemplars of a gracious style, Combine in Chancellor, we feel, To elevate yet wake a smile.

A load of rubbish Ingrams sifts.

The Puck-like Waugh sets Bottom's head. On finance Bernard's Einstein-gifts ... Readers, enjoy the weekend bed. (George Moor) T stands for TAKI and Jeffrey Bernard:

r•

High Life and Low Life both mock Man's facade.

E ... let me think: how about Fourth ESTATE? (So skilfully judged by Paul Johnson of late). P is for POSTSCRIPT, by P. J. Kavanagh:

(Elegant prose in a wandering manner). , C: COMPETITION and CROSSWORD and CHESS:

They leave me each week in a mystified Mess' A is for AUBERON, whose Voice is unique! T? — TELEVISION, which Ingrams finds bleak.

Over to Letters: but what is that glint? READER — you're dying to burst into Print:

(Ronald Rubio/ Timely comment, truthful fact, Here you have it, all compact, Economics, Politics, Stage and Opera and Flicks.

Plenty of good Book Reviews, Entries for the comps amuse, Crossword's hard to do, but fair. Tucked in neatly, here and there, Austin, Springs and Heath have done Tiny drawings, which are fun.

, * * *

Of good news though there's a dearth, Readers have their money's worth.

(A. J. wyborn)

Twelve lines I use to cavil, not to praise: Here is the one I loved in pre-Waugh days Enduring still, though Nicolson's no more, Sadly, and Taki-Bernard is a bore Portraying life repulsive high and low.

Enticed by Thatcher, Ferdie chose to go, , Crosswords sans Jac have lost their old aPPea4 Too much of foreign politics, I feel,

And that outdated page of potted news, Those reams of rather dreary book reviews. Oh well, I must, for all such gripes about You' Renew my sub — 1 cannot live without you. , (Peter HadkV

Taki I'll leave — he's a snob and a bore, Hashing the left-over slops of the rich. Even so, Low-Life Jeff offers no more, Sobbing with whisky breath, 'Fate is a bitch'. Paul Johnson? OK, but the change-of-face act Evaporates fast, and it's been better done. Can't I find plus points, at least to show tact( Tell you what, one fellow's good for some fun: Auberon Waugh, that's him — though, to be

candid, Tastelessness isn't that charming or chic. Oh damn it, my compliments seem so left- handed; Rare are my chances of scoring this week. ,

(Basil Ransome-Davies(

Torvo Spectatorem evolvens sic iaceo atque haud humilis viro delector Waughis amoeni (cloquitur verbis Humum Worlockque flagellans).

subridens scriptoris eodem nomine Johnson, pro dextro conversi ohm, prudentia cerno. ex australibus exque Histro, ex distante oriente crebras res gnosco toto sapientia hic orbe: turbida lectorUm juxta ilias judicia adsunt. aggredientes litterae hic. ot lecta omnia scrie: tandem certamen video. vicine, rogo, annon?, oro quaerens nomen, at heu! crudele Jaspistot rursus spernor. aper taeter, sit ei maledictum.

(Jerome Johnson)