High life
Rich on the run
Taki
imagine this is as good a place as any for the rich foreigners at present living in England to move to once Neil Kinnock and his lot apply their politics of envy. There is everything one needs: the Cresta and Bob runs, horse-racing, polo and golf on the frozen lake (with red balls), plus a great night life after a hard day's skiing.
There's also a long tradition of hydro- therapy, which as everyone with a Swiss bank account knows is particularly effective on tax exiles. Many of whom are right this minute spending a hell of a lot of moolah in perfidious Albion, in return for not hav- ing to pay in order to spend. The list is long, but I shall mention only a few — my research having been conducted at night, and in a night club to boot.
As Dr Johnson once pointed out, it is impossible to criticise unresisting imbecili- ty', which will be the case when Glenys orders Neil to squeeze the rich foreigners. But first of all an admission: Great Britain is the greatest tax haven on earth, places like Switzerland and Liechtenstein having upped the ante for residency. What is also true, however, is the fact that foreigners do not earn any money in Britain, nor do they take away any jobs from the locals. All they do is spend, and believe me, they do. It all goes straight into the British Treasury, or into the pockets of shopkeepers, which after all is what the English are to us.
Mind you, everyone keeps a low profile, however much they spend. People like the Gettys, for example. Although hardly my favourites (some of them are actually wheeling and dealing with the ANC down in South Africa) they nevertheless give a lot to charities, and spend even more on themselves. Signor Gucci is another who comes to mind, as are the two Swedish brothers who run Tetra-Pak. There is also Europe's richest man, Baron Heini von Thyssen, and the Flick brothers, Mick and Muck, whose charitable activities in Eng- land include sponsoring operas and music competitions.
Now what I would like to know is what possible good it would bring the British people — except to satisfy the envious — if most of these foreigners fled back to Switzerland, or even France. Greek ship- owners, for example, could return to Greece, where even the socialist crooks who ran the country for eight years recog- nised their importance to the. economy. The reason people like the Goulandrises, or even Taki, choose to live in England is because of the quality of life (as well as of the women, in the latter's case), while oth- ers like John Latsis I imagine choose the place in order to be near royalty.
But all of us pay our taxes back home, and in my unfortunate case back in both homes, the Olive Republic as well as Afro- America. Making us pay in Blighty will only make us pay less to the locals, which should encourage Kinnock to give us even more of a tax haven, not less. But that is not how it works when socialists are concerned. Vin- dictiveness is as integral a part of socialist policy as is hypocrisy, so I shall not be holding my breath for Labour to welcome us to stay a bit longer. As I never stay more than three months in one place as it is, don't cry for me yet, but some of my for- eign brethren will be missed, especially after you lot have paid your 59 per cent taxes.
Next week I'll tell you all about the best weekend I've had since the Bop Until You Drop party, and in a much higher state because St Moritz is, after all, higher than Gstaad.
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