11 JANUARY 1986, Page 33

Starvation corner

AH, THE cold New Year — season of bracing financial resolutions! Budgetary control falls upon the business scene, past excesses must be undone, and directors and managers with adipose divisions and departments are forced to sweat off pounds. A friend reports a visit of inspec- tion from the hard man from Central Costings, when the discussion took the following form: 'I should like to know, Mr —, exactly what economies you have made in order to comply with our memor- andum.'

`Certainly: I have taken the whole team off Dom Perignon and put them on to Bollinger.'

`I should like to think, Mr —, that you are taking this matter seriously.'

`Of course I'm serious. I don't like Bollinger.'