Television
Derailed again
Wendy Cope
Watching Six O'Clock News (BBC 1) last Wednesday, I learned of British Rail's intention to increase fares by more than the rate of inflation. Once again I recalled the words spoken to me a fortnight ago by a British Rail official: 'We can do whatever we like.'
Last week, as it happens, I was involved in another of those life-enhancing little incidents that so often occur when one travels by train. This time the problem was that my ticket, purchased earlier in the day, was not valid for the train I wanted to catch. When I bought it, I had made a point of mentioning every detail, including my departure time. We all make mistakes, of course. If the mistake means that a passenger has to queue up in the rush- hour, sweating, fuming and glancing angri- ly at her watch, in order to pay extra money for the right ticket, no one would expect her to receive polite or apologetic treatment. When you consider how British Rail behaves towards the public, it's not surprising that so many people choose to go everywhere by car. And just think about the effect that that is having on the ozone layer. I didn't see any television programmes about the ozone layer last week but there must have been one or two.
Another favourite subject for television programmes is television itself. What could be more fascinating? The latest offering, One Day in the Life of Television (ITV), was actually quite interesting, though it was at least half an hour too long and I didn't manage to stay with it right to the end. The most interesting part of all, for me, was to see the television critic of the Evening Standard prancing about at a Channel 4 launch and going on about how much money she earns. The saddest bit was when two buskers, brought in to play at the end of a discussion programme, missed their big chance because presenter Mike Scott won't wear an ear-piece and ignored the large written notices telling him to wind things up. Poor buskers. I hope they were asked back another day.
At the same time I was recording the new John Mortimer serial Summer's Lease (BBC 2, 9.25 p.m., Wednesday). It isn't nearly as good as the same author's Para- dise Postponed because most of the charac- ters are rather boring. However, the plot is intriguing enough to leave me wanting to know what it's all about. Maybe I'll watch
it again. Maybe I'll buy the book.
Tales from Marquez (BBC 2, 10.25 p.m., Saturday) is based on 'themes and vignettes' from Gabriel Garcia Marquez's books, mostly from Love in the Time of Cholera. I enjoyed reading this novel, though I decided afterwards that the hero is a prize four-letter word. Saturday's story was recognisable but different. The changes annoyed me, as they always do in films of books that I've read. The pace was slow, and I knew what was going to happen at the end. But some of it was very sexy.
Norbert Smith — A Life (Channel 4) featured Harry Enfield as an aged actor being profiled by Melvyn Bragg. It was brilliant — the funniest thing I've seen on television for a long time. As others have pointed out, it was sporting of Melvyn to take part in this programme. Next time Enfield decides to send up something serious, I think he should try and get Michael Ignatieff to join in the fun.
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