MONDAY Jed chased me out of kitchen this morning for
frightening the children. Godammit one of them dropped a piece of rainforest into the Brabantia! OK, so it was in the form of a lollipop stick but that’s not what the headline’s going to say. Last night I found a plastic bottle top in the wheelie. Told Jed, if you’re not prepared to back me up, then I’m afraid I cannot guarantee 100 per cent immunity from a load of rubbish exposés. He just laughed and laughed, which goes to show that anyone can crack under pressure. Now he’s sending me back to base to work on the front-bench reshuffle. Which is a bit like recycling, only with less material you can re-use. Nigel says that Mr Redwood is cybernetic, and therefore not biodegradable.