11 NOVEMBER 2006, Page 13

WEDNESDAY Mr Swayne has discovered a horrifying plot to destroy

the Speaker! He walked in on the plotters in a basement room with just minutes to spare before PMQs. Luckily, quick-thinking Dezzy managed to avert disaster by locking the door and running away. No matter how unreasonable Mr Martin is being, staging a Mexican wave while shouting ‘We hate you, fatso!’ is not going to make it any better.