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Q. Next week I will visit London where I have been invited to an exhibition in Cork Street by the artist Richard Foster. Since I understand he is one of the so-called Pinstripe Painters, I wonder if you can advise me whether it will be de rigueur to wear a pinstripe suit myself? I worry this may be thought bad taste in consideration of the current kerfuffle in the banking world.
Name withheld, Caracas A. Pinstripe suits have long been controversial items but the reality is that they are worn, not by bankers, but almost exclusively by estate agents and theatricals. Neither, misleadingly, are they worn by the ‘so-called Pinstripe Painters’ (who also include country house painters Julian Barrow and Edmund Fairfax-Lucy). Instead these men are known for their eschewing of paint-spattered smocks and jeans in favour of bespoke tailorings — although never pinstripe suits. Your confusion is understandable but, to give you some guidance; on the night in question Foster himself will be clad in a grey mohair suit with cloth from John Foster & Son of Queensbury, Yorkshire, knocked up for him by Barry Davis of South Kensington in 1987. Incidentally there is nothing new about artists dressing immaculately. The late Francis Bacon, who was famous for his Augean stables-type studio, was one of the snappiest dressers of his generation.
Q. Like M.H., Australia, we have a septic system and have similarly suffered in the past with visitors flushing inappropriate devices down the loo. Our present notice seems effective: ‘Please do not flush anything down the lavatory that you have not eaten first.’ T.J.J., Old Minster Lovell, Oxfordshire A. Thank you for this suggestion, which may well be effective in discouraging blockages — but at something of a cost. The images conjured up by the notice are likely to haunt guests when they are seated at your table. They may well disturb their enjoyment of the fayre served up. In this respect your solution does not chime with conventional notions of hospitality.
Q. I have a great number of very rich friends whose fortunes will be impervious to whatever financial meltdowns occur. Meanwhile I myself, for the want of about £15,000, may well go under in the next six months. I pushed the boat out a lot 20 to 30 years ago when I was in funds, and some of these people, who are now rolling in it, may well feel they would prefer to help out an old friend who helped them in the past, than to lavish donations on the developing world. I would have no false pride in accepting help, but the problem is how to ask for it without causing upsets and losing friendships. What do you suggest, Mary?
Name and address withheld A. Equally there may be friends who would like to help but don’t want to upset you by offering. Also, there will be others in the same boat as yourself. Do not go directly, therefore, to any individuals with your begging bowl. Instead set up a password-dependent social networking website giving the challenges faced by your own and other pride-free impoverished friends. Names and mug shots will be enough, and details of the quantities of cash you are short of. Word will soon get around and well-wishers and ghouls alike will log onto the website to see if there are any names they recognise. Those who do not wish to give can pretend they never logged on. Cheques will begin to arrive from those who do.
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