DIARY SIMON COURTAULD
No invitations to shoot grouse this Saturday have come my way. Reports from the Pennine moors, however, indicate that shooting will be severely curtailed this year, and some days have already been cancelled. The grouse is a sensitive bird: it will respond to good moor management predator control, heather burning — but no sooner, it seems, have its numbers increased than it is struck down by disease due to overcrowding. So many birds re- mained at the end of last season that the restrictions on available space and food, together with a mild January, provided ideal conditions for a dreaded parasitic worm; and the consequent disease (stron- gylosis) has decimated the population. So there are not enough grouse this year because not enough were shot last year. This is especially ironic in the case of one Durham moor owned by an oil-rich sheikh, when Arab-owned shoots are among those lightly criticised for rearing and shooting too many pheasants and duck in the south. One of the answers, in a good year, would be to extend the season beyond 10 Decem- ber, though the Government would prob- ably never sanction it. The rose grower and naturalist Humphrey Brooke once wrote that the grouse season should begin on 1 August, and 'when stocks remain high a good hammering should be encouraged until the end of January'. In conservation terms he was right. Alternatively, there might be some incentive — free shooting?
for those prepared to go north and brave the late November weather, if too many birds were left on a moor. After all they would be doing the owner a favour, helping to ensure there were enough, at £60 a brace, for the following year.
Until a letter arrived last week from the School Fees Insurance Agency, I was unaware that there were life assurance funds describing themselves as 'based on ethical principles'. The Stewardship Life Fund, run by Friends Provident, having started five years ago, is offering an Anniversary Bond, and the SFIA thought I might like a little more help with the school fees by taking advantage of 'a special opportunity to invest for a profit that won't be made at the expense of society or the environment'. Admirable sounding stuff, and a 146 per cent profit over five years to show for it. But then comes a more detailed and sanctimonious statement of Principles: no investment in armaments, gambling, alcohol, tobacco, or in businesses 'with interests in countries with oppressive regimes such as South Africa or Chile'. A few questions arise here before I consider giving my money to the Ste- wardship Life Fund: for example, what Constitutes an oppressive regime? Did the
fund invest in companies trading with China and, if so, were those shares sold after 4 June? And if I, a smoker and drinker, wished to put my winnings from Newmarket last week into a bond, would it be ethical for the Stewardship Life Fund to accept my application?
Our village is being invaded by coaches — not the buses which take people to town or children to school, but mon- strous modern charabancs, with huge square windscreens, which fill the village street, blocking the passage of other vehi- cles and alarming passers-by. At this time of year parties of visitors come to the Kennet and Avon canal, on the edge of the village, to take trips on a horse-drawn barge; others are merely being taken for a drive in the country. There is nothing particularly objectionable in that, except for the fact that the coaches are too wide and too long for the roads which they use. And since they are rarely full, the demand for such outings could clearly be met by smaller vehicles. But every coach today seems to be of the type that one sees on motorways, travelling to and from London for much less than the cost of taking a train. There is no justification for these coaches to be on country roads, and indeed they can be highly dangerous, both for the passengers and others. While I was staying in Yorkshire in May, a walk with my host along a narrow lane with cowparsley over- hanging the verges was interrupted by the appearance of one of these monsters car- rying a party of pensioners. When asked whether he was aware that he was about to descend a steep, twisting hill quite unsuit-
'The train on platform 4...' able for his vehicle, the driver replied, with apparent lack of concern, that they were on a mystery tour, as much for him as for his passengers. One wonders how many other coach companies are operating with such total lack of responsibility.
Am I the only person who, when two or three actors or television 'personalities' are gathered together to make some pro- test or other, reacts automatically against them? At least in the laughable case of the Rose Theatre the protesters were supposed to know what they were on about, though this was an arguable point. But when the likes of Anneka Rice, Pamela Stephenson and Twiggy start agitating about the dan- ger to children of fruit sprayed with pesti- cides, I start believing implicitly in the Ministry of Agriculture which has pro- nounced them safe. I have no idea who is right, but I do object to such people arrogantly assuming that their views should carry weight for no other reason than that they have been seen on the telly.
David Gower may feel that he has endured more than enough criticism for the failure of the England Test team; but he is still captain, and he has got to go. The most damning point against him was made, albeit anonymously, by three of those who have opted to go and play in South Africa: Gower presides over an unhappy atmos- phere in the dressing-room, and gives no encouragement or advice to the younger players. So who should replace him for the winter tour of the West Indies? Last Sunday Robin Marlar put forward Vic Marks and Peter Roebuck, both of whom seem to spend as much time writing news- paper articles as cricketing. Other names are bandied about, but there is really no need for Ted Dexter to look further than his old county Sussex and its captain Paul Parker. He has never to my knowledge written any articles, though I first became aware of him when his father John was cricket correspondent during my days at the Field. Parker fils is a stroke-player who stands still at the crease and does not wave his bat in the air; and Tony Greig has called him the best outfielder in the world. Amazingly, he has made only one appear- ance for England, in 1981. What really qualifies Parker for the England captaincy is that he is now doing for his county what needs to be done for his country: rebuild- ing the side, restoring order and morale after Sussex was at its lowest ebb two years ago. He is a man of stature who inspires his team, and he does much to support young players, particularly spin bowlers. He has the qualities which Gower lacks — it is so obvious that he is bound to be overlooked.
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