I'm on the bandwagon
MY host at the Savoy Grill (or Dealmakers' Arms) rather pointedly ordered a bottle of mineral water. 'Do you find it difficult,' he asked, `to drink at lunch-time, these days?' I reassured him: 'It gives me no trouble at all — yes, thank you, the usual, Angelo —it's working in the afternoon that I find harder.' All this is now to be regulated by the govern- ment's National Alcohol Plan. Employers will be required to make rules for their staff, telling them what they can drink and when, on or off duty. This is something else for managements to do, apart from the residual chore of trying to run their businesses, and I shall be happy to offer them the City and Suburban Code. Some excerpts follow: Champagne: never too early for.
Meetings, board, annual general: will accelerate naturally to a close as one o'clock approaches. Sound-effects (glasses and ice) help.
Naps, post-prandial: an essential health requirement. Sofas should be provided.
Port: incompatible with operating heavy machinery, such as word-processors or tele- phones.
Whisky: one or more pub doubles advised before attending Treasury parties.
Wine: red or white? An inappropriate choice, frequently offered by publicists. Even more depressing with cheese.
It occurs to me that this plan will need a regulator, called Offwagon, and a National Alcohol Authority. Bags I be chairman of the hospitality committee.
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