12 FEBRUARY 1977, Page 5

Notebook

When did so few last add so much to the gaiety of nations? First came the news of Mr Edward Short's title of nobility. In case You had not noticed it, he has adventur°LIMY, or romantically, or simply capricinusly chosen to sit in the House of Peers as The, Lord Glenamara of Glenridding. That news produced in me the sort of intense, suffused happiness that one knows after reading a classic Wodehouse over a fine bottle of burgundy. But the HainesFalkender double act, with Sir Harold as walk-on stand-up one-liner, surpasses even Lord Glenamara. ' Not that it much matters, but I suppose that we will never know the truth about the esignation Honours. Stories along the Ines of Mr Haines's allegations have been con'imon gossip in political and journalistic London since the list was published. It is lightlY irritating that only when Sir . arold's former press secretary has pubnshed his tales of the Marfia (or kosher nostra as some call it) can the rest of us Print them, A memory drifted back on Monday after as I read Lady Falkender's reply to w'r Haines's 'wild and intemperate staterents' (not a bad phrase, coming from her). ri 1974 when Mrs Marcia Williams, as she t,h,en was, had been attacked in Private Eye, fie New Statesman attacked her attackers 14 a leading article of some ferocity. I wboncler what the whisky-stained, telephonesreaking Mr Haines would now say to the W?ttesman's plea that the 'victim [Mrs

liams] is vulnerable and in no position to hit back.'

The Mirror and Jonathan Cape are to be ervi°11gratulated on keeping the contents of r Haines's book a well-guarded secret and ---so far—getting away with it. I had a ''fferent experience. Five years ago I was working for Michael Joseph, the publishers, edited George Wigg's memoirs. Thanks i13,_4 calculated indiscretion (mine, of course) ti,!"ecame known that Lord Wigg had hard illngs to say about Mrs Marcia Williams. t"h "°rY appeared in the Daily Mail; and e, roof fell in. The text was emended, .emended again until it met with Mrs uslhams's satisfaction. (I still haveblionhile's and a libel lawyer's treasure— "e three different 'states' of the book, page ePr°°f, finished copy, and finished copy as ,veutually issued, with several cancels.) It ‘Was the first time I have witnessed what the her.,rY,Powerful can do when very angry. The 7.74. was the 'property' of the Sunday d", who had leased volume rights to -sePh, rather than the other way round, •

and that was our 'undoing. Lawyers' letters were exchanged, but that was not why we caved in (our own lawyers told us that we were safe): it was because someone at Number 10 leant heavily on someone at Times Newspapers.

Rugby football shows that creative alterations of the laws of a game can transform it. Fifteen years ago internationals seemed to consist of an endless series of kicks into touch, line-outs, and more kicks. Now even a dull international—and last Saturday's Ireland v England was undeniably dull— provides a real sporting spectacle. The leniency allowed to referees in interpreting the knock-on and forward pass laws has helped as well, although permissiveness has almost gone too far: Davies's try in the recent Wales v Ireland match followed a blatantly forward pass. Two further changes I should like to see are these: the abolition of the line-out, which gives no true advantage to the side offended against, and which leads to scrappy and often foul play; and the abolition of the place kick. Not, that is, of the penalty : penalties would still be awarded but they could only be taken as punts and drop-kicks. We would then see no more of the incessant long penalty attempts at goal which are boring when they fail and unfair, or against the spirit of the game, when they succeed.

The man who will be most pleased by the Franks report on a register of dependants of immigrants is Mr Enoch Powell. The report confirms his prediction, made in 1968, that the coloured population of Great Britain will be more than four million by the turn of the century, and it suggests that the proportion of 'New Commonwealth immigrants

and their descendants,' to use the official euphemism, will be even higher in relation to the total population than he had claimed. It is not quite clear what this prediction is doing in the report at all. It would be interesting to have the reactions of Mr Jenkins, originally responsible for instigating the Franks inquiry.

Supporters of Southampton Football Club are to be asked to take a form of pledge that when attending matches, 'I will ensure that I will remain sober and sensible.' One can only wish the authorities the best of luck. Years ago a friend of mine interviewed a number of London footballers for the Evening Standard. Nothing that was published was very memorable, but one player —a Millwall forward—said something which was (a sub removed it from the article). He said, very gravely, 'We have an old saying or maxim in football: "Win or lose, on with the booze." ' A friendly classicist once rendered it into Latin for me—I thought it would make a good heraldic motto—but I lost his version. Can readers help?

Whatis 'difficult' music? I mused on the question the other evening after the latest recital in Brendel's magnificent series of all the Beethoven piano sonatas. Even quite musical people will say of conventional `modern' music that it is difficult. (I use quotation marks for 'modern' advisedly: the BBC tends to describe as 'music of our time' music written before either of my parents were born.) In fact, Schoenberg, for example, is a comparatively easy composer to listen to, as far as the term has any real meaning. When I find music 'difficult' it has nothing to do with its modernity. What dodecaphonic piece is as impenetrable as The Musical Offering? Or, to return to my a propos, what composer before or since Beethoven has ever written anything as mystifying and remote as his Op. 110?

Gradually the new buses with automatic doors are taking over from ones with open platforms, a change I greatly regret. With the new buses it is impossible to get on or off at traffic lights, or anywhere except at bus stops. It will no doubt be claimed that that is one of the advantages of the new model. Safety consciousness is of course commendable but it is sad to me that London children will no longer be able to practise the art of boarding moving buses.

used to consider myself a master of the art. It's true that once or twice the bus repelled me and left me flat on my back on the road. On another occasion I lost my footing while standing on the platform and absent-mindedly forgot to let go of the rail: being dragged for thirty yards down the King's Road is, literally, a sobering experience. But I suppose that the prigs of London Transport would say that that is not what they run their buses for.

Geoffrey Wheatcroft