Election Corridors
Voyage to Egalitaria On my Arrival in Egalitaria, whither I had journeyed to observe the Mode of Electioneering there practised, I was at once Accosted by a Fellow, an Emissary of the Leading Man in that State, who had been Assigned to me as a Guide, with Instructions to Accompany me at all Times and to Point out the proper Significance of all I . saw. Together, we entered the City.
' It resembled nothing so much as a camp of the Militia being composed of identical houses, spaced at regular intervals, without the relief of any singular Decoration whatsoever. But infinitely more astounding to me were the curious Dress and bodily Appearance of the vast Throng of Egalitarians. Clad in a shapeless tunic, grey in colour and again bereft of decoration, and with their heads wholly shaved of hair, they presented a drab Picture of Similarity.
As my Eyes became accustomed to this sight, however, I noticed a far more terrifying Fact. By some Horrible Coincidence, All who Nature had designed to be Tall had fallen Victim to a Dreadful Lameness, by which they were Reduced to the Average in Size. Likewise, those of naturally Small stature had been provided with Deceptive Shoes or Stilts to Lift them to that same Average. As with Height, so too with Beauty. If a 'Woman's natural Comeliness chanced to be visible through the drab Effacement of her . Garb, some prominent blemish would restore an Appearance acceptable to Society. "Why, They are as alike as peas in a Pod," I could not forbear from exclaiming aloud. And this Remark, though innocent enough, threw my guide into an ungovernable Rage. "Observe, pray, that in that Queue of Citizens (N.B. All Gatherings of Egalitarians are, for a reasOn I could not discover, known as "Queues") there is a Man with Blue Eyes when Most rest content with Brown. Is it tolerable that there should be such a Conspicuous Flaunting of Advantage which must of necessity Engender Division in the Citizenry?"
Thinking it impolitic to Deny this fiercely-held but unfounded Prejudice, Inquired about the Parties and Factions contending for Office. "Presently at the Helm of State are the Levellers," he replied. "So named, because it was originally their Aim to reduce and raise All Men to the same Height. That first Object having been achieved, they procured the Adoption of a Uniform Physical Appearance which policy was much Advanced by the Flight of Tall and Beautiful People, excepting those among the Levelling Leaders who, themselves Great and Comely, declared that they would submit to be lamed and disfigured, only when no Trace of Height or Beauty remained in the Land. Now, Fanaticks among the Levellers maintain that the Body Politick cannot stay half plain, half fancy, and demand the Universal putting-out of Eyes and Extraction of Teeth."
"Their principal Opponents, the Diversity Party, at first countered all Notion of Levelling as Hostile to Good Order, Contrary to Common Sense and Wasteful of the Publick Purse. But, later they praised Uniformity as an Ideal, but that it was to be reached not by surgical methods, but only by paints, powders, wigs, stilts, inflatable bosoms, and the free issue thereof. Now, they are in Disarray, Some declaring for surgery in pursuit of Union with the Levellers, Others urging a Return to Beauty. "Lately, however, a New Faction has begun to profit from the Just Discontent of the Populace with Both established Parties, Asserting that Similarity is the Foundation of all Good Things, and that they will Achieve it by Methods that do Harm to None and Benefit to All, these to be Revealed in Due Course after they have been Placed in Office.
Even so, I reflected, when Rogues by Guile have seized Controul of a City in the Americas, and Citizens demand through-going Reform, then do the Rogues establish their own Reform Faction to the General Satisfaction.
'Tom Puzzle
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