12 OCTOBER 1991, Page 34

Liquid Paper

Smooth as a snail, this little parson pardons our sins. Touch the brushtip lightly and — abracadabra — a clean slate.

We know those who boil their brains by sniffing it, which shows it erases more than ink and with imagination anything can be misapplied .. . In the Army, our topsergeant drank aftershave, squeezing my Old Spice to the last slow drop.

It worked like liquid paper in his head until he'd glide across the streets of Heidelberg hunting for the house in Boise, Idaho, where he was born . . . If I were God I'd authorise Celestial Liquid Paper every seven years to whiten our mistakes: we should be sorry and live with what we've done but seven years is long enough and all of us deserve a visit now and then to the house where we were born before everything got written so far wrong.

Peter Meinke