Your Problems Solved
Dear Maly Q. When I was a boy men who dyed their greying hair were something of a laughingstock. Now I notice that many 50and 60something politicians, rock stars and television presenters have apparently failed to age in the normal way. I wonder whether I should prepare to follow their lead, Mary, or risk looking past it by contrast to my peers? I am only 36, but rogue white/grey hairs are starting to appear in my normally all-black thatch.
D. d'E, London SW10 A. It is acceptable for males who appear on television to have had their hair coloured. Note the passive clause. These men can often claim, quite truthfully, that it was simply done to them while they were in the hands of the make-up artists, who prepare everyone for the cameras, and that, before they even realised what was happening their hair had been subjected to an 'organic vegetable-colour rinse to brighten its natural colour'. A non-media man could do this, especially if the revered organic vegetables have been involved as they would be at the Jo Hansford salon in Mayfair; headquarters of natural-looking hair colour where premature greyness can be subtly halted in its tracks. Top men in the real world, however; go natural.
Q. I recently stayed at the bijou Hotel de L'Abbaye in Paris where I found that one of my heroes, Alan Bennett, was a fellow guest. I did not want to be intrusive by bearding him in this private place to convey my respects. But when I got home a mutual friend suggested Mr Bennett might well have wanted to meet me. I, too, am a writer, although certainly second division rather than first. I feel sorry that I missed out on this unique opportunity for us to bond. What should I have done?
Name and address withheld A. You were right not to beard Mr Bennett directly. However; you could have slipped a plain envelope under his door: On opening it he would have found a fan letter to yourself (apparently slipped under his door in error). In legible handwriting the card would have congratulated you on one of your works and asked you to have a drink with another of the hotel's guests —your having chosen carefully one who had already left. Your hero would have opened the envelope, assumed an understandable en-or; and used the handing over of the card as a pretext to introduce himself to you, had he felt so inclined. If you could have faced the crushing blow of the card being simply redirected to reception, then you could have employed this method Q. I feel rather bitter that my 15-year-old godson has not written to thank me for a particularly good Christmas present. I don't want to nag him through his mother. What should I do?
J.G., Bath A. Rather than sulking you must do your duty as a godparent. Part of your role is to prepare the boy for the world and to show him that failure to perform such a basic courtesy will mean an inevitable reduction in such efforts being made. Begin by sending a stamped addressed envelope to yourself. If he fails to respond to this hint you must have a talk with him for his own good Short-term resentment against you as a 'nag' will give way to gratitude in later life.
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