13 JUNE 1998, Page 54

High life

Gentlemen and athletes

Taki

In the American Basketball League, as revealed by Sports Illustrated, a cheer-lead- er type of magazine, there is an out-of- wedlock child for every player. One black multi-millionaire, Shawn Kemp, has seven with six different women, while Latrell Sprewell — he's the one who tried to stran- gle his coach, was suspended, but had the suspension judged illegal by the courts — Hello, car clamping control-centre. How may I hinder you?' had three kids with three different girls before he was 20.

Go figure, as they say in Brooklyn. But back to tennis and the Spanish Armada. The French were very disappointed not to see Cedric Pioline in the final, but his road to the semis had been too tough for him to make it through. Pioline is a nice guy, as many French tennis players tend to be. It IS a funny thing. The French have a reputa- tion for being an arrogant and difficult people, yet their tennis players are extremely nice. When I was on the circa, Pierre Darmon, Pierre Barthes, Robert Haillet were all close buddies. Jean-Noel was a pig but then he had Thierry Roussel as a nephew. Marcel Bernard was the last real Frenchman to win Roland Garros, which he did in 1946. I say real because Yannick Noah, who won in 1983, was born in Cameroon and discovered by Arthur Ashe. Another Frenchie won the first post- war Wimbledon, Yvon Petra, playing In long trousers. Petra was very genial, but the double French victory on clay and on grass had Gardner Mulloy mumbling 'while we were fighting they were training ... tYPe of thing. The Queens' finals are this Sunday, and I shall be attending as a guest of Frank Lowe, the man who sponsors it. Although I love tennis and still compete in the veter- ans tournaments, I shall be going there for social reasons. Modern grass-court men's tennis is a joke. One man serves, the other misses until one either double-faults or manages to hit a return. C'est tout. One saw real tennis last week in Roland Garros. An all-court game is needed to win, and the reason Moya won was because of his vol- leying and his bigger serve. The American charge that playing on clay is not real ten- nis is as phoney as their president. Sampras wins on grass and the fast cement because of his great serve and volley game. He can- not win on clay because his strokes are not as good as those of the Spaniards. They are not as good because he does not possess the patience and courage to stay out there and hit back just one more forehand or backhand than his opponent.

Technology has changed the game com- pletely. I remember a match between Robert Haillet and Beppe Merlo in Roland Garros during the very early Sixties. Haet lobbed every ball to an opponent who did not possess a great overhead. He won in five and a half hours. It may have been bor- ing tennis but it was interesting when com- paring the will to win of the players. There was hardly any skill involved, just wilt power. This could never happen today. Even on the slowest of surfaces, a graphite- titanium racket will score outright winners on a slow ball.

Why does tennis accept an ever-faster. game based purely on power? Easy. Greed, greed, and more greed. These modern rackets can make any schmuck play well- I have seen players, whose backhand looks as if they learnt it in the last century, Pass me at will because of the technology. One does not need to learn the basics. One needs to learn how to use the racket. You can hit off the back leg, you can hit while both feet are off the ground, you can use any grip and not even follow through, and still get the ball to go in. It is the democratisation of tennis. Now everyone and his grandmother can play. The manu- facturers make millions and the schmucks stay happy. Only a few purists like myself don't like it. But then who am I to com- plain? I would like to see the game back in exclusive country clubs, and played by gen- tlemen, not athletes. Obviously, I am not a man of my time.