13 MARCH 2004, Page 63

Q. When my husband is behaving badly I sometimes think

I would like to know exactly how much I might receive in a divorce settlement, just so I could have an unnerving little smile playing about my lips, safe in the knowledge of what I am 'worth'. How can I get this information without actually consulting a solicitor? I don't want to wash my dirty linen in public or set any inexorable process in motion.

Name and address withheld

A. An inexorable process would not necessarily be set in motion. Two of the very top divorce lawyers in the country, Fiona Shackleton and Roger Bomber, both sit their clients down and urge them not to divorce. From their years of experience they see that divorced people are invariab4,, worse off in every aspect of their standard of living including their social life.

However ifyou would like to exude a quiet confidence that might help to keep your husband on his toes, why not consult the free website set up by the philanthropic Roger Bamber, www.divorce.co.uk? Every family is casespecific, of course, but you will gain some helpful insights into the methods of avoiding a divorce, the consequences of having one and the best ways of navigating through both scenarios.