NOTES AND QUERIES.
" EIDENTEM dicere verum quid vetat ?" Vetat Cobden !—" a full solempne man." Mr. Cobden's forte is not exact statement ; and his remarkable exhibition of incompetency to seize an exact idea, or to repeat it in an exact statement, on Wednesday last, is not the first instance of the kind in his life. Lord Palmerston had said that the subject of burial societies was very painful; that a particular Parliamentary return did not justify the negative con- clusion of a Member; and that he would not state his own opinion, but that legislation might place the matter beyond the possibility of sinister imputation without discrediting the lower classes. "The noble Lord, then," said Mr. Cobden, "is in possession of facts." "I said nothing about the possession of facts," answered Lord Palmerston. "The noble Lord, then, has grounds, but they are of too painful a nature to be stated," presumed Mr. Cobden. "I do not say so," said Lord Palmerston. "Then the noble Lord disclaims having any facts at all : does the noble Lord admit that?" Lord Palmerston—" No !" And of course the laughter of the House waxes at each response. Mr. Cobden places himself in the position of a person vainly seeking something which is concealed in a conspicuous position,—ever searching, because always looking about and about, instead of fastening upon the thing that every- body else sees. People always laugh at that spectacle,—and the House laughed. Upon which Mr. Cobden, with characteristic missing of the new fact, observed that Lord Palmerston " was trifling with the subject "; and grave Mr. Cobden, whose burial " facts had made the House laugh, deprecated ,jokes on "grave subjects "—not, of course, meaning a pun on his own side. He thought Lord Palmerston had been jocular, whereas it was he himself who had been the cause of wit in others. But, unlike Scrub in the Beaux' Stratagem, Mr. Cobden does not perceive the mirth he causes. "They were talking of me, for they laughed consumedly," says Scrub ; but Mr. Cobden, mistaking the author of the mirth, rebukes Lord Palmerston for being " jocular."
A correspondent of our weekly contemporary Notes and Queries asks, how is it that the Emperor of Russia remains a Knight of the Garter, to the pledge of which he is recreant ? By the oath of that order, no knight must take up arms against another, or assist any one to do so ; and Henry the Seventh pleaded that oath when the French King asked him to lend some money for a war against Naples. Here is Sir Nicholas, however, not only assisting another, but himself levying war against the head of the order—the Eng- lish Sovereign. Is the traitor's act to pass unchallenged P We may add, that he does something still more unquestionably recreant —he conceals his acts in falsehood, and eats his words. What is our Champion about? Should not the Dymoke be mounted forthwith on his illustrious charger, and sent to St. Petersburg for the high emprise of challenging Nicholas to single combat P A question of contract and property before the Court of Com- mon Pleas, in the case of Stokes v. Grissell, depended upon mea- surement of distance from a certain point : but how to estimate distance ? should it be by the ordinary path, or by the crow's flight ?—that was the question ; and it was a question which puz- zled fudge and Court considerably. The possible interruption of a river perplexed Mr. Justice Maule ; who forthwith was lost in consideration as to the position of bridges, the force of the current in turning a boat, and the directness possible in case the river were frozen over. It would be thought that nothing is more fixed mechanically than the distance between two points ; yet Mr. Jus- tice Maule found that there might be divers distances between the two points to perplex a contract. How far is it from Cowes to Portsmouth when the sea is rough P how far when the sea is smooth from Portsmouth back to Cowes ?—a question for a mixed jury of swabbers and dairymen. How does the crow fly ?— a question to ask of the worms of a field. So different are law and fact, that it seems impossible to reconcile them. The definition of a point in mathematical and in local language may be exactly re- versed : mathematicians tell you that a point is that which has no extension ; a law point is something of indefinite extension.
Mr. Beresford's real grievance has at last come out. W. B. had a defence, but his friends—the Conservative Ministry—would not let him produce it when he was attacked in Parliament. Was it justice or charity that actuated his friends? "It is unknown," says Mrs. Malaprop, speaking of her husband's death, "the tears I shed." Being concealed, her weeping stands traditionally in the proportions of a Niobe's eye-flood. Silent, W. B. remains in possession of a boundless defence !—which is better perhaps than having thrown it before honourable swine. He ascribes the sup- pression, however, to reasons of state. He, with others, was bound to vote for a Free-trade resolution, which he abhorred, as all his friends did. Mr. Hume was once willing " to vote black white "; but, excelling that heroism, Mr. Beresford not only voted, as Mr. Hume said he would have done, for a good purpose, against truth and fact, but, to judge his act by his own standard, he voted to convert good into bad, and to frustrate the very mis- sion for which he entered Parliament—to turn innocent white into criminal black.
We have an example of the way in which newspaper reports grow. There was a story of Highlanders hurrahing on a steamer at Constantinople, and shocking the Turkish ladies who sat in boats. Turkish ladies seldom travel thus; but, swallowing that difficulty, how can we get over the fact that no Highlanders had arrived at Constantinople ? There was a Scotch surgeon to a regiment ; the Scotchman, we presume, has fine legs, or fancies he has, and he dons the modern antique garb of the Highlands : he walks about Constantinople, and astonishes the natives : there is a Highlander—a Highland soldier; where there is a Highland sol- dier, ingenious rumour infers, there must be a Highland regiment; if a Highland regiment arrives, it must be per steamer; if it ar- rives per steamer, it must hurrah; if it hurrahs, it will assuredly mount paddle-box ; ladies in boats below will be astonished ;—and there is the tale.
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