Q. I am one of a group of six young
women who have known each other since college and we plan much of our social calendars around each other. In recent years, however, one of our group has fallen by the wayside owing to her contracting a marriage with someone whom the rest of the group consider an inappropriate suitor. During a brief renaissance in our friendship I suggested that in the lead-up to her wedding we girls organise a weekend break to celebrate her upcoming nuptials. The cost would be split among the five of us so our friend would not have to pay for anything. I forgot all about it until this past week when I received an email saying my friend was looking forward to the trip and asking when would be convenient to begin organising it. I now regret suggesting we go away and do not wish to organise and pay for such an excursion as I feel that this friend is no longer as close a part of the gang as she used to be. How can I extricate myself from this situation?
G., London, SW1 A. I am withholding the information you request since your own behaviour leaves a lot to be desired. In the first place a failure to follow through with your celebratory promise is unacceptable, whether or not your old friend has morphed into a less desirable social commodity than she once was. As old friends you have invested emotional capital in each other and every one in the group is entitled to claim the ‘interest’ when milestone events loom. What about auld lang syne?
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