14 FEBRUARY 2004, Page 63

Q. The other night I was rounded on at a

dinner party by a shrill female television producer who said I shouldn't have jumped the queue by going privately for a small operation I have just had. At the time! couldn't quite articulate my justification for going private, other than a selfish wish to bring my discomfort to a close as quickly as possible. If I had had my full wits about me and been feeling more physically robust, how could I have best defended myself, Mary?

L.J., Andover, Hampshire

A. There is no point in rehearsing the old arguments about how you are paying a voluntary extra tax or how you are lightening the NHS burden by, passing up the chance to exploit our rights to free treatment. It is better simply to say, I'm son-y. I know you must feel bitter. I know it is vet)) galling for people who can't afford to have private treatment to see others being able to pay for it. But I'm afraid I have taken the Diane Abbott view. It's indefensible but I still did it — because I wanted to.'