14 JANUARY 1995, Page 29

Noreen

In any group there are the beautiful and the plain, the strong & weak, smart as a trinket & dumb as a clam. Agreed. But there's little agreement who they are or correlation with how they all turn out. Noreen here, lying on the storeroom floor with her head on a sack of potatoes, phone dangling from the wall and a plastic cup of vodka on the shelf, was voted Wittiest in the Class and The Girl with the Nicest Eyes. Where be your gibes now? asked Hamlet as indeed did Noreen when playing Hamlet in 9th grade, pronouncing it guybs, while Miss Endicott rolled her eyes which weren't half as nice as Noreen's. Outside it's been dead cold and rainy for a month and polluted air gums your glasses like snails, the ink smears on her lover's letter. Dear Noreen. For years she has held the wrong job, the wrong man. She even had the wrong child. Those are the reasons. How much we need reasons! How reasons make us feel better!

Peter Meinke