14 MAY 1965, Page 9

Spectator's Notebook

'Why can't a woman with a wooden leg change a pound?'

'Well, why can't a woman with a wooden leg change a pound?'

'Because she's only got half a (k)nicker.'

(Applause. Curtain.)

The music hall would have been proud of George Brown in the final moments of the steel

debate.

Comic: 'If they come I will listen.'

Straight Man: 'You will listen?'

Comic: 'Listen: certainly.'

(Applause. Curtain.) Sweet Georgia Brown apparently can't see a percentage without tripping over it. In another context, those 'damned dots' are with us again.

'Three per cent mortagages?—Certainly, sir, coming up.' Three and a half per cent norm?' —Naturally this should apply to everybody ex- cept for the exceptions.' 'And who are the exceptions?'—`Everybody.' One hundred per cent state control of the iron and steel industry is, of course, essential, but if they concede this and come to see me I will listen.'—`You will listen?' etc. (see aboVe).