Mind your language

ONE of you very kindly sent me an antidote to all that tosh about the 17th- century nun growing old (30 Septem- ber). This is a genuine early 18th-century piece by Jonathan Swift headed 'Resolutions when I come to be old'. They are a bit tougher than the fictitious nun's, and not so generally known, I think, as to resist quotation.

Not to marry a young Woman.

Not to keep young Company, unless they really desire it.

Not to be peevish, or morose, or suspi- cious.

Not to scorn present Ways, or Wits, or Fashions, or Men, or War, &c.

Not to be fond of children.

Not to tell the same Story over and over to the same People.

Not to be covetous.

Not to neglect decency, or cleanliness, for fear of falling into Nastiness.

Not to be over severe with young People, but give allowances for their youthful follys and weaknesses.

Not to be influenced by or give ear to knavish tattling servants, or others. Not to he too free of advice, nor trouble any but those that desire it.

To desire some good Friends to inform me which of these Resolutions I break, or neglect, & wherein; and reform accordingly.

The form of the list suggests that this was originally the end, but some other resolutions have been added, including one 'not to be positive or opiniative'. The change in meaning of positive is interesting. I noted it in Swift's (as it were negative) meaning in Trollope's The Duke's Children (1880). It meant `dogmatic', and we retain an element of it when we assert, 'Sure? I am absolute- ly positive.'

Positive started its history in about 1300, meaning 'artificially laid down', the opposite of natural. Our idea of accentuating the positive grew up after the 17th century (when positive acquired the sense of a plus, not a minus quantity) and was reinforced by the electrical concept, developed in the later 18th century.

I have left a copy of Dr Swift's reso- lutions on the table next to, my hus- band's armchair, beside the roundel of stains where he leaves his whisky glass. We shall see if it has a positive effect.

Dot Wordsworth