Odysseus Rides Again
By PAUL GRIFFIN
EREFT of his brave companions, Odysseus of the nimble0 wits struck the grey ground with his feet and stepped into the booking-hall. Athene, sitting upon Olympus, saw his bewilderment and, speedily disguising herself as a booking-office clerk, sold him a third-class single ticket for Clifton June. For many months Odysseus had been travelling to his home, but the Earthshaking god Britishrelwais, angered against him, had always foiled his efforts, sending him to Clifton (Gloucs), Clifton Down, Clifton Bridge, Clifton Mill, Clifton Moor, and even Clifton-On- Trent of the fish-infested waters, but never to Clifton June. The great seer Tomaskuk, nephew of Britishrelwais, had prophesied that he would return home late, in evil plight, on the wrong train, and with no stouthearted companion to guide him ; and not even the bright-eyed goddess could prevent the prophecy's fulfilment.
Now Athene, in her guise as a booking-office clerk, helped him upon his way. "Take this ticket," she said. "for without it there is no way of passing the one-headed guardian of the ticket. barrier. Hand it to him and wait for him to return it before stepping past boldly, saying in clear tones, 'Which platform? He will know that you come from me, and will not dare attack you as you pass."
All this did Odysseus of the fertile brain, and as he struck the grey platform with his feet he heard the guardian of the ticket-barrier cry aloud, "London train platform four!" Then Britishrelwais caused a great crowd to surge past Odysseus, so that even his great strength and cunning were of no avail for some time. But at last he penetrated to a quiet corner of the station and addressed a two-armed porter standing in uniform there. Little did he know that all porters were sons of the Earth-, shaking god himself, and were placed around that god's domains' to mislead him.
"Good sir," said Odysseus, "know that I am Odysseus of the nimble wits, sacker of cities ; and be so kind as to direct me to the train for Clifton June. For the effect of the message of the guardian of the ticket-barrier was that I should travel to London. But I with my fertile brain was too cunning for him, for have I not just come from London? Some god had surely made him wish to mislead me or had given him the idea that I wished to go to Clifton (Gloucs), Clifton Down, Clifton Bridge, Clifton Mill, Clifton Moor, or even to Clifton-on-Trent of the fish- infested waters."
But before the two-armed porter could speak the bright-eyed goddess herself again came to his aid, and quickly disguised her- self as an old postman, such as is seen on misty days in winter staggering round the streets with loads of parcels or it may be cards of greeting from one person to another. That was what she looked like when she spoke at the elbow of Odysseus.
"Sir," she faltered, "I am old and have seen much service. Indeed, sometimes I wish that I could retire and spend the evening of my days nodding over my hearth, with my wife perhaps, and my old dog Towser probably. But I have heard that a very good train for Clifton June. is the 8.43 a.m. from Platform Two."
But he of the two arms, son of the Earthshaking god British- relwais, was too fast for her, and spoke in this fashion: "Bravo sir, I have heard of Odysseus the wise, sacker of cities, as who has not ?, and will most surely put you upon the 6.55 a.m. from Platform One. But'! beg of you to take no notice of this foolish old man, who is, as you may see, despite the similarity in our uniforms, but a postman." Then Odysseus sacrificed a chicken to Britishrelwais, drank of the amber wine of the country, and laid himself to sleep in the Waiting 'Room, very temple of the Earthshaking god. Whig the rosy-fingered dawn touched the East he rose, sacrificed some coffee and toast, and struck the grey ground once more with his feet. After a short time he came to Platform One and mounted , on the 6.55 a.m. ; for Britishrelwais had caused small boys to scrawl over the posted time-table so that he could not see the truth.
Hour upon hour he travelled, and at last the home of his birth came into sight, near enough for him to see his neighbours tend- ing their lawns, and he cried out and thanked the gods who had brought him safely to his destination. But Britishrelwais caused the train to pass through Clifton June. without stopping, and Odysseus was carried miles from his home once more to Man- chester, where the inhabitants cannot till the slug-infested earth, for the seasons come never in the same order. And it is said that these inhabitants eat their young. . . .
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