Lucky godchildren!
Christmas is when godparents come into their own, says Raffaella Barker Life has its fairytale moments, and second only to the swooning kiss with the knight in shining armour comes the heartwarming day when someone asks you to be godparent to their precious offspring. It is a fairytale moment because the offer comes and is accepted with mutual sparkle and joy, promises are made on both sides, generosity is unleashed in the godparent and off you go happily ever after into the future.
Fast forward a few years, and just as the knight's armour has rusted and he seems to have forgotten about swooning kisses, so has the godparent/child experience altered. The tiny infant has undergone a seismic change from golden delicious babe in arms to taciturn teen, possibly with piercings that make your eyes water and a breathtaking lack of interests or hobbies. This is the creature you have to buy a Christmas present for.
In my case, there are seven of them, and although not all of them are silent or even teenage, they all require special thought at Christmas to make up for the fact that I hardly ever remember their birthdays and that I am not the millionaire godparent who will die and leave them a fortune or an island.
It is sad but true that they will have no interest in being given a microscope or a monogrammed silver hairbrush, though there are very nice specimens of the latter to be had at www.asprey.com for £195.
Do not despair, there is fun to be had in shopping for the modern godchild. Make it a pleasure for yourself — do it all on the internet. The lovely present can arrive at their door ready-wrapped and all you need to do as godparent is smile smugly and await a witty and lengthy thank-you letter.
Here are a few things that will muster enthusiasm from your godchild and make you seem to be on their wavelength. Like children themselves, a lot of these gifts are obscenely expensive, but what the hell — it's a fairytale, spin some gold.
Of course you could visit www.apple.co.uk and buy an iPhone for £270 — it will make them love you for ever, but if for ever feels too long, just go for some JBL Creature speakers at £69.95 in red or aluminium, and maybe throw in an iPod shuffle — the new design is the size of a book of matches and is adorable at £49.95.
Less fashionable but useful is a computer cab account at www.computercab.co.uk. You can give a set amount each month and know that your godchild is getting home safely.
Books are always a good thing, and never mind if they don't like them — they should. A first edition lifts the whole experience somewhat. Antiquarian book dealer Natalie Galustian (www.nataliegalustian.com) has a copy of Morris Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are for £4,000, which I would love to give my baby godson Oliver, and rare Tintins in French from £2,000. I am not for a second forgetting Harry Potter here, but a first edition of The Philosopher's Stone costs £25,000, though the later ones are in the upper hundreds. And to kickstart the reading habits of a teenager, what better than Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the first edition of which will set you back £1,000. Or just give them the paperback from Waterstone's and go on holiday with the money you have saved.
My 17-year-old son's godfather lives in New York and has won eternal worship and basks in glamour as he sends Lorne a parcel from Bergdorf Goodman each Christmas. The content is always wonderful because it comes from Bergdorf's and Andrew has got them to giftwrap whatever it is. So check out www. bergdorfgoodman.com and use the gift service. The same applies for Harrods, Aspreys, or indeed Tiffany's, www.uktiffany.com, where the gold charm bracelet with cowboy boot and cupcake stole my heart. Silver charms start at £85, but the gold cowboy boot is £780, the chain of 18ct gold £910, so give it to your favourite godchild.
Be comforted, as you strip the shirt off your back to pay for it, that gold is enduring. And don't worry — according to the fairytales, there is plenty more at the end of the rainbow. When you find it you can live happily ever after.
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