Blown out of proportion
Sir: I am alarmed by the moral confusion raging in the land of my birth concerning the Hugh Grant fellatio scandal.
This practice has no place in a marriage between decent people. I myself am mar- ried to an Arabess, whose faith requires her to be very scrupulous about what she puts in her mouth. I would never even dream of suggesting that she express her affection for me in this way.
Ladies who relieve their husbands in this way are taking the bread out of the mouths of the women of King's Cross. Well, not the bread, exactly, but I'm sure that my reason- ing is clear.
For there must be compromise, and this is why whores have always existed and must be allowed to continue to exist. I myself often go down to Nice and get myself 'blown' in the toilets of a tango-hall there. I am slightly ashamed of this, but I don't mind admitting it, because things like this have always been done by men of all kinds; and, anyway, my wife cannot read English.
Mr Grant should go to court, elaborate the above view, plead guilty and pay his fine. He should apologise to nobody.
Boite Postale 21, 06540 Breil Sur Roya, France