Spring Cleaning One would think that the advantages of going
to an agency for a cleaner are that they would always send someone competent and that come sickness or disaster or any of the other things that seem to keep cleaners away someone would always turn up. After all, the rate is the 'steep one of nine shillings an hour. That should at least mean service. The agency sent a man round almost on request. Admittedly he was exactly an hour late, but he did mumble something about staying on an hour at the end.. Admittedly he did not look as if he knew one end of a vacuum cleaner from another, but my friend gave him a simple, and he hoped unnecessary explanation, of how each appurtenance should be used. He returned to the sitting-room to find the cleaner chewing up the carpet with the electric floor- polisher, puzzled that it did not seem to work. Shyly my friend pointed out that a floor-polisher was really better used on surfaces that needed to be polished. My friend retreated to another room, but was surprised that he could hear no sounds of moving furniture. He made an excuse to go into his own sitting-room and found the man giving a light dusting to the few areas which involved the movement of not a single magazine, chair or ashtray. He suggested that the cleaner should perhaps first move all the furniture to
- one side of the room and the man seemed grateful for the tip. Finally my friend had to leave for the
office. He did this with misgivings, but he was persuaded that the man probably worked better on his own. When he returned in the evening, the cleaner's, presence was at least clear, even if it looked more like that of a burglar who hadn't been able to find what he wanted. The electric fires were on, dust no longer quite speckled the
whole flat, but lay about in balls, newspapers and dusters were strewn all over, encrusted pilcs of Vim lay on the stove and in the midst of it all lay a broken plate covering a note with the words: 'DEAR SIR, SORRY, THE CLEANER.' Which I suppose is an effective way of disarming the victim, but a pretty elaborate one of earning (7) thirty-six shillings.
QUOODLE
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