Television
Table talk
Wendy Cope
Last week's big television event was The Mahabharata (Channel 4), which I missed because it was too long to go on a four-hour videotape. There didn't seem to be much point in recording two thirds of it — a feeble excuse, maybe, but the only one I've got. Before I went out I did watch it for a few minutes, just to see what it was like. There was this woman who had been pregnant for two years, so she got her servant to hit her on the stomach with an iron bar. Then she gave birth to something that looked like a big black football. Naturally she was upset, until a wise person came in and told her that the football should be cut into little pieces and watered and it would grow into sons. I
tried hard to be suitably impressed and, if I'd watched six hours of it, might well have succeeded. Perhaps Channel 4 will give a second chance to those of us whose devo- tion to culture wasn't quite fervent enough to keep us at home on a Saturday night in the party season.
There was a party on Thursday as well, but I remembered to press the buttons for the second instalment of Bed, Chair, Table, Lamp (BBC 2, 8.30 p.m.). Despite a promising beginning — 'The table is the still point of a turning world' — Table was completely different from Chair and not nearly as funny. The programme wasn't about designer tables, which was some- thing of a disappointment because I'm quite interested in furniture. Instead it focused on what happens around the dining-table, turning itself into a program- me about eating and manners and suppres- sed emotions. Those are interesting sub- jects, too, and they'd hired sensible people to discuss them, so the time wasn't wasted. Somebody recommended another documentary series, Skyscraper (Channel 4, 7 p.m., Sunday). This tells the story of the construction of Worldwide Plaza in New York. It's as compelling as any soap opera, with a superb plot and great charac- ters. There aren't many women in it but some of the male stars are at least as attractive as the men they pay millions of dollars to in Hollywood. Were I not afraid of sounding like Glenda Slag, I could go on a bit about Dominic, the Italian-American foreman. That smile is really something. Unfortunately there is only one more programme in the series and the building is nearly finished. On Sunday we saw the `topping-out' ceremony, when the last steel girder was added to the structure. As it was a special day, the workmen had a few celebratory beers at lunchtime, then went back up to the 47th floor, where they balanced on the girders. They don't wear safety harnesses. It was terrifying to watch. London's Burning (ITV) came to an end this Sunday with a tearjerker in which one of the firemen was drowned. It was Vase- line, the womaniser. In preparation for his tragic demise, they made him into a much nicer character this week than he ever was before. The sudden onset of tender be- haviour towards his baby son made it easy to guess who wasn't going to survive the series. I'll look forward to the next one.
Though I haven't been following The Ginger Tree (BBC 1, 9 p.m., Sunday), I must tell you about Oswald Wynd's book, which I have now read. You may remem- ber that I sneered at a letter from some- body in the publisher's publicity depart- ment who said that he had never met anyone who didn't rave about it. Though this still seems unlikely, I'm prepared to believe that he hasn't met anyone who has read The Ginger Tree and failed to express enthusiasm. It's a marvellous book.
Christopher Edwards is away.
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