No. 1275: The winners

Jaspistos reports: Competitors were asked for a poem consisting entirely of two-

syllable (to the ear) words.

Not so easy as it appeared at first glance,

eh? Lucky for you that I didn't ask for 16 lines! There are plenty of disyllables in the language, but they seem to go into hiding when you're looking for anything but an adjective, noun or verb. Also the trochee is more common than the iambus — try rewriting Hiawatha with the latter — and, to make matters worse, if' you mix them you can give passengers a very bumpy ride.

Despite the tough route up Parnassus a good number of you made it, even though sometimes the breathing was ragged at the top. There are a dozen winners: three pounds each for the four-liners and six pounds each for the rest. The bonus bottle of Pimm's No. I is for Desmond to put into his haversack and drink well below the snow-line.

Noble owner, ruined sadly, Offers haunted mansion gladly.

Creaking staircase, cobwebbed study.

Banshee wailings, footprints bloody, Headless lady walking nightly, Clutching lifeless infant tightly.

Horror movies? Ideal setting, Option purchase, monthly letting. (Desmond) Woking station, platform empty, Percy looming.

'Hullo, Brian, Missus okay? Kiddies blooming? Chipper yourself? Looking super.' Percy chatters, Matchless boredom artist. Meanwhile nothing matters.

Except British Railways showing punctual mercy.

Hooray! Engine rounding corner. Goodbye, Percy. (Jim Knox) Even gifted poets cannot always concoct jingles Without ruthless, weary pruning until rhyming mingles Neatly. Therefore wretched, tearful novice reaches madness Facing endless, thirsty, prizeless, Pimmless future. Sadness!

(Elizabeth Gordon) Foreign spirit level Wobbles, awkward devil. British product's better: Window's somehow wetter, Little central bubble Never any trouble. (Mary Ann Moore) Vengeful Anna coldly tosses Brimming wine-glass contents, denting Thereby Anna's former boss's Well-groomed image. Newsmen, scenting Juicy copy, enter — snooping, Taking pictures — always gladdened Watching lovely women stooping; Whereas others, perhaps, saddened.

(Stanley Shaw) Minnehaha's Honeymoon Lovely wedding, Laughing Water!

Busy party safely over, Kindly temper further transports.

Girlish giggles, vulgar shrieking, Hinder women's household labours, Shatter husbands' tranquil moments.

Redskins value modest matrons: Girlhood's over, Silent Ripple! (Mary Holtby) Shakespeare's seven ages briefly nutshelled: Babies puking over fluffy covers; Fractious, whingeing schoolkids, blazered, satchelled; Fervent, furtive, acned teenage lovers; Macho soldiers, thriving under tension; Judges passing sentence, calmly ruthless; Skinny oldsters, meekly claiming pensions; Silent corpses — sightless, tasteless, toothless.

(Peter Norman) Passions denied demand release; Innate reserve cannot survive Extreme desire; feelings increase Beyond relief, aflame, alive.

Therefore relent, demure princess, Before despair becomes despite; Unloose restraint, accept caress, Dissolve into intense delight. (Roy Dean) Nightly, pious Keble's merry Bursar becomes plastered — very.

Godless Pembroke's vice versa: Legless college, sober bursar.

(Hamish Macbride) Yawning almost unto slumber After doling lesson fodder Into classes without number, Into highbrow, into plodder, Teachers slowly homeward stagger.

Children meanwhile, looking fitter, Seeming fresher, onward swagger, Leaving teachers somewhat bitter.

(N. J. Warburton) Although Eton's former pupils Believe Maggie's lacking scruples, Many, being rather decent, Admit judgment's fairly recent. (D. B. Wood) Peering into gilded mirrors, Seeing only other eras, Hardly casting shadows, widow's Haunting, hollow laughter echoes.

Sherry glasses, velvet pillows, Faded photos, silent sorrow, Genteel, final horror. (Joan Van Poznak)