SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 54

Report by Owen Tweedy A prize of £5 was offered for not more than twelve lines of the National Anthem of one of the following States : Erewhon. Ruritania, Lilliput.

What are the characteristics of National Anthems? I suppose they ought to be a bit bellicose, a bit commonplace, a bit pompous and a bit sycophantic. And they must have a good lilt which can be set to stirring music, so that loyal subjects can shout them automatically even though they have no ear at all for music. Any- how that was more or less the yardstick I took as I read the pleasantly large number of replies which came in from aspirants to the post of Poet Laureate in the kingdoms of Ruritania, Lilliput and Erewhon. And there was one other consideration. Anthony Hope, Dean Swift and Samuel Butler must be consulted. Indeed they ought to have the last word.

Ruritania produced the largest number of replies. But somehow most of them missed the mark. Still there were some lovely lines. Julian More wrote romantically: As long as there's a moon in June. Ruritania will go on.

and Francis Collingwood in more matter-of-fact vein:

Land of Hope and Hentzau, Country of the true ; Pray to God the censor Never muzzles you.

But both of them smacked more of musical comedy than of National Anthem stuff. Then there was a great " Gaudeanzus lgitur" (Mrs. Stanier). But would Colonel Sapt have been able to tackle it ? And the Rev. C. H. Butler—to the tune of "Three Blind Mice "—was perhaps too 1951 for Ruritania's cloud-cuckoo land.

Most of the Lilliput contributors knew Swift's text really well and their standard was high. There was, too, some good nonsense. Valerie Ranzella wrote:

We fight our midget Emperor's cause And if our brains are small, We manage very well because We haven't far to fall.

And Miss C. A. Pratt sent in a truly Lilliputian contribution (size: 1 in. by 4- in. with music) which was most original. But I havered about the Dean's reaction to both.

Lastly Erewhon and another batch of ingenious entries full of Samuel Butler atmosphere. For instance R. Kennard Davis's last quatrain: Unmechanised ever and handsome and hale • By the light of Unreason our race shall prevail In blondness still blooming and rendering thanks Through the courteous cashiers of our Musical Banks.

Again Guy Innes's opening couplet: All fleshly ills are penal, all invalids are banned, All moral crimes are venal in this our pleasant land.

Among this embarras de richesses it wasn't easy to select the prize- winners. But in the end I had little hesitation in recommending the Rev. A. Whigham Price and D. L. L. Clark as joint winners with £2 apiece. Both, to my mind, sent in real' National Anthems ; and I am sure that the Dean will be delighted with Mr. Price's spirited and erudite composition and that Mr. Clark's most ingenious " reversed " effort will equally delight the inventor of Erewhon. It is written to the tune of "0 Tannenbaum" and I can already hear Mr. Senoj, Mr. Htims and Mr. Nosnibor singing it like larks. Two other entries—on less elevated grounds—deserve, I think, con- solation prices of 10s. each. They are Mrs. D. S. Walker for the delicious first quatrain of her second chorus ; and Mr. Alan L Brown for his entertaining and pertinent Ruritanian Anthem.

PRIZES

(THE REV. A. MIZORAM PRICE.) The Lilliput National Anthem

(as recorded by ex-Nardac Quinbus Flestrin).

Here's a health unto His Majesty Golbasto Shefin Ully Gue, Confusion to his enemy, •

The Emperor of Blefuscu. By Lustrog we pur eggs will break At the convenient end, and take A glass of glimgrim for his sake,

Lumos kelmin pesso Dcsman Ion Emposo.

(D. L. L. CLARK.) Erewhon National Anthem (to the tune of "0 Tannenbaum").

0 snezitic fo Erewhon Er'ey eth' curt ytilibon Sruoy si eth dnal lath stes nem eerf, Eth roop dcdiugsim s'nolef dneirf.

Mot, kcid, yrrah, ni surohc won Duol snaeap gnis rof Erewhon!

0 yppah ey ni Erewhon,

Os yledur ythlaeh tath on

S'toirtap kcis—fi yna si Ni nosirp s'eh detalosi.

Wechse chus yteiroton Tselb snezined fo Erewhon !

*Aspirated consonants are subject to metathesis in the language of Erewhon.

(MRs. D. S. WALKER)

Lilliputian Chorus. Lilliput your armour on, Lilliput your armour on, Lilliput your armour on, We'll all make war.

(ALAN L. BROWN)

Ruritanian National Anthem Land of Hope and story To all-subscribers free For lovers' knots and knavish plots Ruritania for me!

Long live our two kings Rudolf Whichever one shall reign.

May the honour of our gracious Queen

Emerge without a stain!

Hail to our gallant Englishman A hero without equal.

0 give him grace to last the pace And see us through the sequel!