16 SEPTEMBER 1989, Page 27

A DICTIONARY OF CANT

WAR. In 1940, we only had one phoney war, but now we have the war on crack, the war on inflation, the war on road traffic offences, and the vital war on litter. When push comes to shove, we have a conflict instead, as we did with Argentina. Soldiers suffered conflict- wounds, and left behind conflict- widows. Thinking of them, it may seem a little disrespectful to call the struggle against litter a war, but we all have different ideas on what makes a land fit for heroes to live in.

Nigel Burke