16 SEPTEMBER 1995, Page 54

High life

Solid stuff of politics

Taki

Gstaad AGreek newspaper, the Independent Press, has reported that Greek Prime Min- ister Andreas Papandreou is incontinent and is obliged to wear Pampers at all times. Your correspondent has been aware of this for at least one year, but has chosen to ignore it until now in view of the subject matter.

Recently Ali Babandreou and his Evita, ex-air hostess Mimi, were attending an international conference in the Big Olive when the proverbial you-know-what hit the fan. That is when Mimi came to the rescue. Having been trained for emergencies such as this by Olympic Airways, she quickly took Andreas to a public lavatory, placed a praetorian guard outside, and . . . went to work. Word got out, however, and people began to snicker. And the longer it took Mimi to clean Papa up, the louder became the laughter. After almost an intolerable 45 minutes the pair emerged to find an atmo- sphere close to anarchy. Even the cops could not keep a straight face. In a country where bathroom humour reigns supreme, I am not at all surprised. And the fact that the Premier — who looks like a fugitive from an embalming table — now goes around soiling himself in public has become the source of unending merriment. The opposition tabloid press has not only had a field day, it has threatened to publish in brown paper the next time it happens.

Unfortunately, having a leader who wears Pampers is the least of Greek prob- lems. The biggest is the fact that Athens once upon a time the most romantic city in Europe — is now a dreary and polluted industrial town controlled by hoodlums of enormous wealth and with the ethical sense of a pack of jackals. This is a result of the Papandreou socialist rule since 1980, with the exception of three years of Conserva- tive rule in the very early 90s. In fact, last Monday's Daily Telegraph carried a story from Athens denoting just how corrupt everything has become. The Olive Republic with nine million people has more civil ser- vants than France, with a population of 60 million, and the socialists have just hired 40,000 more. Now this is what I call patron- age par excellence, with the Brits and Ger- mans picking up the bill.

Needless to say, Mimi Papandreou is by far the most influential patronage dis- penser. Like many of her kind, she over- does things. Ali Baba is trying either to have her succeed him or become an MP. It My five-year- old could've done that!' reminds me a bit of African antics. It also makes honest people sick.

What I don't understand is why those fat cats in Brussels put up with Greek corrup- tion. After all, even those who provide Pampers to the Premier's palatial house know that Greece's economy relies on EU handouts. And EU handouts keep the Government in power.

To keep the Brits and Germans quiet, Ali Babandreou and his gang have tried to look as though they're tackling the debt. They do this by stealing the property of King Constantine without compensation and by proclaiming a man who was born in Greece a non-person, revoking his pass- port. Aside from the unfairness of it all and the hardship it has caused the Greek royal family, it is even more pathetic than trying to run a country wearing Pampers.

Otherwise, things are hunky-dory. Prince William started at Eton last week, and my little prince, John-Taki, began at Le Rosey. Although I like to think of myself as a tough guy, it was close to blubbing time when I dropped him off. I have never understood how the English can send their kids away as early as they do, and smile about it, although when I was sent away I was 11 and didn't speak a word of English. Not even the word Pampers.