POLITICAL COMMENTARY HUGH MACPHERSON

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Whatever else takes the fancy of a young man in spring, if he is a politician, it will be the thought of a nice armful of civil service briefs in his first government ap- pointment. This goes deeper than the sex instinct, at times, and is chronic in the strange species of Political Man. There can be no other adequate explanation for any intelli- gent man giving his life to an interminable round of committees; suffering the insuf- ferable of his own kind; swilling tea at daf- fodil fairs; kissing beauty queens in public and, if humanly possible, never in private; putting his wife up for public auction in his constituency (pace Sally Vincent); and finding the hallmark of success a life in the mauso- leum of Westminster. Few self-respecting commercial travellers would accept the life for the possible meagre reward of a few years lording it over civil servants who absorb them with an alacrity that would do credit to the history of China.

For all that, there is an army of hopefuls for every vacant constituency, and for the average mt. the thought of office, no matter how humble, is very heaven itself. The unspeakable Chips Channon confided in his diary, with commendable honesty, his reactions when the prospect of office loomed before him:

How I should enjoy the triumph, the power and position . . . What a joy having a room (and one of the best) to myself. There is considerable jealousy about it... Chips at the ro—shades of Lord Curzon, and how pleased he would be. I have not slept, and I sin so excited that food gives me indigestion.

Chips indeed at the FO. But as PPS, unpaid political errand boy, to an under-secretary, Mr Rab Butler. The offer of a similar lowly position in any other sphere of life would have produced in dear Chips a sharp attack of the vapours. This spring is no bad time to look at the problems confronting the young hopefuls since all, save one, have dipped their toes in the Westminster water by making a maiden speech. Competition will be hot in this Parliament since there are more than 150 new faces on the benches, and while it is fashionable for some political commentators to suggest that politics are best understood by ignoring Westminster it is in the Chamber that a man's prowess (pace Sally Vincent once more) is put to the test in the first instance—and sometimes in the last as well.

It must be stated at once that worthiness, application and sincerity are not enough. For example there is the dread case of Mr Arthur Latham, bearer of the Red Flag in Paddington North. Now Mr L combines all the qualities mentioned above and a few more besides. He also clutches to his bosom more commendable causes than did General Booth—although the old warrior did it so much more cheerfully. When Mr Latham rises on a convoluted point of order—penal problems of Miss Bernadette Devlin were a favourite topic—he casts a grey anhydrous gloom over all present. Hardy veterans of the Labour Transport Bill, as well as the present government's industrial relations legislation, blanch at the prospect. And the old aphorism holds good: one could agree with every word he utters and cheerfully defend to the death the fact that he should never be allowed to say it. Importunate sincerity is not enough.

Brilliance is sometimes helpful, but it can also be a great burden. There is the sad example of Mr John Mackintosh who arrived in 1966 already a Professor of Politics at the early age of thirty-seven and author of the definitive work on the Cabinet. His maiden speech was hailed in some quarters as the most brilliant since the war, and his status in Parliament rose like a meteor.

When Mr Edward Heath was leader of the Opposition he would come into the Chamber, at times, around eight—that dead hour when most members are stoking up for the spirited exchanges which take place between nine and ten—to listen to Mr Mackintosh's arguments. But Mr Mackintosh had made enemies at court. Mr Willie Ross, the stern Scottish Secretary, viewed the young professor in much the same way that the Mayor of Eastbourne might view a partic- ularly clever tanker captain who unloaded a few hundred thousand gallons of oil on the beach. Preferment did not come.

To threaten disloyalty, save in the rarest cases, is a precarious route to fame for the young backbencher. There are of course exceptions. Mr Edward Taylor, an under- secretary at the Scottish Office, was an en- thusiastic devotee of Mr Enoch Powell. Indeed his views on such questions as capital punishment, censorship, and the arts make the Prophet Enoch seem to like a dangerous liberal 'enemy within'. The prospect of having him as a backbench marauder was

too much so he ended up as one of the surprising choices for junior office. Eyen so he did show loyalty to Mr Heath by cam- paigning for him in the leadership struggle.

Usually unswerving loyalty, which means nothing short of public adulation of the Leader, is an essential prerequisite. Apart from Mr Mackintosh the most brilliant back- bencher of the last government was Mr Brian Walden of Birmingham. His distaste for Mr Wilson was in strict inverse proportion to his vociferous admiration for Mr James Callaghan. He remained on the backbenches. A particularly horrible example, this, for clever young Conservatives, although more squeamish aspirants to office may consider the cases of Mr Bernard Braine or Mr Edward du Cann.

It will be seen from the above that the route to greatness is a precarious one. Good fortune is as essential to political success as choosing the right parents is essential to a good start in life. Yet if anything above should cast a gloom on the honest plodder let him pay heed to this cautionary tale from the last Parliament. A dogged Labour back- bencher who might, at a pinch, be put in charge of a nut and bolt store, was approach- ed by one of his more sophisticated brethren. The smooth fellow suggested that they might take tea together although he had studiously ignored the sturdy loyalist for many a day before. In the cause of Socialist brotherhood the offer was accepted where- upon the silky chap suggested that it was perhaps time that 'something was done about Harold Wilson'. He was promptly told to depart in the most peremptory, indeed in the most agricultural, language. As well as being a worthy fellow, the proletarian had a splendid pair of lungs and his remarks were picked up by one of that extraordinary band of disciples who were bound by gold chains about the feet of Harold Wilson. At the next reshuffle the loyal plodder found him- self, to his delight and mystification, a mem- ber of the government. Well-informed com- mentators who do not come to Westminster no doubt put it down to party balance.

Loyalty, measured persistence, intelligence and good fortune, it is, indeed, a rocky road. There must also be added, to these qualities the need for vacancies to arise. Here some cheer can be dispensed for the PM often starts to make his real choices after the inev- itable debts have been paid off in the first government he forms. Mr Heath has prom- ised to be tough and he will have many opportunities to show it. First, I note that reports are circulating among hale young sirs that Mr Joseph Godber has suffered a heart attack and his political future is, in consequence, in some doubt.

The position of some other members of the government, for very different reasons, gives rise for concern—to the present occupants. Among those who will face the next reshuffle with some trepidation are Mr Richard Sharpies at the Home Office, Mr Paul Bryan at the DEP (who was such a success as vice-chairman of the Party Organisation), Mr Richard Wood at the FO, and Mr Michael Noble .at the Board of Trade. The future of quite a few under- secretaries must also have a question mark against them including Mr Eldon Griffiths who fortunately would not notice the fact.

For some who join the government dis- appointment lies ahead. Poor Chips Channon never rose higher than being a PPS. He had found his level. But if young political lions are a little lacking in faith and charity they seldom lack hope. The path to No. 10 begins at Ag. and Fish.