17 APRIL 1993, Page 47

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

Dear Mary. .

Q. The proper procedure for the seatless officer in the situation mentioned (Dear Mary, 6 March), assuming that there is nobody present with visible mark of rank, is to address the compartment at large and demand that the senior serviceman present identify himself. (It is the responsibility of the senior in any group of servicemen to know who he is.) He then says, 'Soldier [or airman, or whatever], get me a seat.' He Can say it quite pleasantly, but the senior is bound to obey the order, and the odium, if any, is on him. He will then order one of the others to vacate his seat. Or, if he prefers to regain the moral ascendency, offer his own.

O.R., Richmond A. Thank you for your comments.

Q. My husband and I both shop regularly at the local supermarket, a fairly small shop but one of a giant chain which virtually monopolises the supermarket business in Hong Kong. I struck up a friendly acquain- tanceship with one of the check-out opera- tors, a rather sad-looking, middle-aged Woman, to whose complaints about her harsh exploitation by her employer I have responded with sympathy. My husband is also on similar terms. The shop recently Introduced bar-coding and since then, like most people, I never have the slightest idea about how much the bill is likely to be — I just pay what is asked. My husband was the first to notice that the bills seem to be a lit- tle on the low side. When we checked the receipt we discovered that she does not ring up large portions of our purchases. I have to admit to a certain delight in the fact that the firm is receiving its come-uppance. On the other hand, we do not want to continue to participate in this criminal conspiracy. We, therefore, try to avoid the check-out where our 'friend' works, but this is not always possible or convenient. We do not want to report her behaviour to her employers, nor do we want to get caught ourselves. Short of giving up shopping at this store (it is the only one nearby), what should we do? A.R, Hong Kong A. Regrettably you will just have to take a calculator with you next time you visit the store. Once should be enough. Tot up the prices as you go along. Although individual items may be bar-coded, prices will be dis- played on the relevant shelves. On reaching the check-out, you can wave this at your friend and say, 'You know, I've brought a calculator this time. Normally I do mental arithmetic as I go round, but I must be get- ting old as I've been getting the estimates badly wrong recently!' You can add mean- ingfully, 'It is worrying.'

Q. I live in a tiny village in an area of out- standing natural beauty. There are obvious planning restrictions on building but there are none on buying hideous, amoeboid, white plastic furniture for your garden at £23.99 for four chairs and a table. My near- est neighbour has made such a purchase and, most offensively, has cut back the hedgerow between us to such an extent that I see these items of furniture each time I look out of the window on the south side of my house. What can I do about this? (Inci- dentally he also has purple and white fes- toon blinds in the windows at the front of his cottage.) Name and address withheld A. Pop into your local auction-house and buy up some acceptable garden furniture costing at least £23.99. Then enter your neighbour's garden under cover of darkness and remove the offensive furniture, replac- ing it with the inoffensive. There should be no need for you to leave a note to explain your actions.