17 AUGUST 1985, Page 29

Simple riddle

You were an easy rhyme once though a virgin, Until you were violated by a golfer.

You used to drive me mad at regular intervals, But now that happens less predictably.

To Germans you're masculine, but for most of us Woman. I still sulk for you, still miss you When you hide. Not like your brother: he's all there, Promoting his day-clubs for the seasonal people, Topless, bottomless, sexless. You Vary the veils of private nakedness.

James Michie