17 AUGUST 1991, Page 12

Unlettered

A reader was given this leaflet: Dear Friends: They say we should say where we are and describe the miracle that is Wester Ross but how can we when it doesn't exist until you yourself are here and then it is perfect beyond description. We made a Coffee Shop in the boat shed to play music and hang pictures but it stretched into rooms and bath- rooms really posh until, up jumped the Clubhouse with its family accommoda- tion and space for an exhibition gallery and auditorium so where are we?

Just past the post office with jazz and folk as well as classical music and the Coffee Shop is all day forever. Write your memoirs, watch the world go by with light meals and the best selection of salads you ever saw. From four thirty until seven o'clock bed time for the weans the tea shop is open as a shrine to the Scottish Golfer with a swing to the East. Hi Tee, ha ha, is designed for kids and devoured by dads who know how to order an egg to a haddie. There is a cake and tea bread, scones and short- bread which does not notice a discreet refreshment in the lee of the teapot and the Garden Room! Hosanna in the highest! This, the big one as meals go, arises in glory about 6.30 pm or eight- een thirty-five if you wish the continen- tal menu. Its daily miracle is table d'hote and secular pleasure comes on a French list called Ally Cart where dis- hes come toujours et toute le monde in memory of an auld sang. Where are we?

Nearly finished. We have not de- scribed a single dish in detail but for this sin of omission we can only offer our modesty and, if you wish to seek con- firmation of your own impeccable taste, we would refer you to any of the excellent guides which make a modest fortune for their publishers by praising our arrangements. For ourselves, we cling to understatements. . .

We will arrange sea angling for you, ski-ing tow-boats, loch fishing and pony trekking. We will tell you of and guide you in all manner of pursuits but we provide you with music, comfort and rest so that you may contemplate the madness of such strenuous activity.

Come and be welcome,

Jean and Robert Urquhart

Ceilidh Place, West Argyle St., Ullapool, Wester Ross, Scotland

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