17 JULY 2004, Page 55

Q. Recently I went to a large dinner party given by a man I have no reason to suppose

is mean; indeed, rather the opposite. The first course was lamb and to my surprise a waitress went round our table pouring out red wine for the men only. I called out to her, thinking she'd forgotten me by mistake, but she ignored me, 4 minute later a second waitress came in and poured out red wine for the women. Later the man on my right asked if! would like some more wine but said, 'Finish that cat's piss in your glass first.' He then poured out wine for me from the bottle in front of him. I am no wine buff but could tell at once that this was infinitely superior.! am flabbergasted by our host's behaviour. Can you throw any light on it?

Name and address withheld A. Yes, I believe I can. 141v guess is that at the last minute your host found he had inadequate supplies of the superior vintage. Rather than highlight the quality differential by switching halfway, he opted to divide the spoils by sex. That would have been easiest for the waitresses and he could hardly divide them by 'those with a palate and those without'. It was nothing more sinister or sexist than that.