YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. I read with interest your advice to the reader whose neighbour refused to accept payment for Spanish lessons (20 August). I too am frustrated at being unable to repay a debt of gratitude. Our HGV lorry broke down at a recent horse trials and someone we hardly know at all volunteered to drive our horse back in his own lorry. It was many miles out of his way and would have been a costly journey for him as well as being very time-consuming, but when we tried to cover his costs he flatly refused to let us. We happen to know he is not partic- ularly well off and strongly suspect he regrets not having allowed us to reimburse him. What should we do? We see him regu- larly. S.M., Tisbuiy A. Next time you see this chap refer to his kindness and shout cheerfully, 'I'm off to
the races tomorrow. put a bet on for you!' Two days later scan the results for a long-odds winner in any stakes whose name might have triggered a mental con- nection, however tenuous, to your emo- tional creditor. You can then ring him up and say, 'You'll never guess what ... you remember I said I'd put a bet on for you? Well, I did, and it came in at thirty to one!' Hand over the 'winnings' on your next encounter.
Dear Mary. .
A few weeks ago one of your correspon- dents asked for advice on how to fill those awkward silences in lifts, a dilemma we are all familiar with. One might break the silence with a lift-related anecdote — for example, recalling the senior official in the European Commission a few years ago who was said always to use the stairs even when going to his office on the 14th floor of the ill-fated Berlaymont building. Colleagues unkindly suggested that this was because the Berlaymont lifts had con- trols operated by the heat of the human finger and that his (British) blood ran too cold to activate them! This could lead other occupants of the lift to give their own lift stories, a harmless and amusing way of filling the time-gaps between floors.
S.L., Saudi Arabia A. Thank you for submitting your diploma- tic tip.
Q. I wonder if you could advise me on a point of beach etiquette? I have recently returned from a holiday on a Greek island where many English people took to nude sunbathing. If one recognises someone who is doing this, should one acknowledge them (as one would if they were fully clothed) or pretend not to have noticed them at all, which might appear ill-mannered? As a woman, I found this particularly embarrass- ing with regard to men.
T.F., Middlesex A. The correct protocol when recognising nude sunbathers abroad is to pretend not to have noticed them. The reason is that many of these people would never dream of `flashing' at home but do so abroad rather as they might behave uncharacteristically at a masked ball. To recognise them in their foreign beach persona could therefore cause them great embarrassment.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Mary Killen, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, Lon- don WC1N 2LL.
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