High life
Day in the life
Taki
Sabrina, the future Queen of England — I hope — is the perfect mate for Wales. Her attributes are by now well-known: she has money, she is photogenic, has three sisters (in case he ever gets bored) and, most important of all, is not totally familiar with every playboy, garconiere or country-house bedroom in the realm. On a Crufts Dog Show scale of 1 to 10 her sisters rate as follows: Anita 3, Julia 4, Miranda 8. Sabrina herself gets a 6. Two weeks ago, at the best party I've been to in a long time, Mark Boxer's bash for hacks as well as for sweet young things, I was brutally attacked by Miranda fot having written that Sabrina, her twin, has no style. But even Miranda cannot get me to change my mind.
Sabrina, a very nice girl otherwise, has no style. That is why she is perfect for the Prince of Wales. He hasn't got any either,. All this according to High life's definition of style.
Having given Sabrina's attributes and minuses, however, I now must point out certain short-comings of the heir to the throne. And what poor Sabrina would have to contend with once she becomes Queen. Here is the Prince's ltypical day. 5.47 a.m. The Prince is woken up by Pipe-Major Alistair (Sandy) McWails and his pipes. After a quick cup of tea and five minutes of deep-breathing exercises in his heavily monogrammed pyjamas, Charles puts on a training suit and runs a brisk seven miles, twice around the garden of Buckingham Palace. It is now 6.29 and the Prince is back in the Trafalgar Pavilion listening to the gentle strains of the regimental band of the Blues and Royals while having breakfast. A clash of cymbals is heard whenever His Royal Highness lops the top of one of his seven boiled peacock's eggs. Upon his retirement to the porcelain throne room immediately after breakfast, precisely at 6.45, the band strike up 'Rule Britannia'.
At 7.00 he jumps into his open-top ,Aston Martin and roars down to Windsor where he distributes monogrammed sugarlumps to the royal thoroughbreds. He then mounts one of them and goes for a 14-mile gallop. It is now 8.30 and time is of the essence. He changes quickly and roars off once again, to the RAF base at Brize Norton. One more change, this time into flight overalls, and off he flies with the greatest ofease up to 30,000 feet where a sprightly group of parachute instructors throw him out of the fast moving plane for 15 consecutive free falls. It is now 11 a.m. Charles does not feel much like lunch while he helicopters down to Cowes for some wind-sail surfing. He dons a rubber suit and whizzes to Torquay with a favourable wind.
It is now 12.33. He changes once again and pilots his chopper down to Portsmouth. For the umpteenth time he gets undressed, dons heavy diving gear and descends to 16 fathoms, inspecting the latest British dreadnought to have sunk at its moorings. It is now precisely 1.30, time to get ready for polo. He hurtles up to Windsor once again, changing into his polo kit while driving. He plays eight chukkas of a semi-final match, wins, and then plays 8 more chukkas of a Friendly match.
In between he makes a quick change of clothes and addresses a meeting ofJapanese businessmen nearby. He explains to them several good reasons for saving the whales. After the last chukka the prince spends five minutes making small talk and then roars back to London. It is now 6.01 p.m. While waiting to see his mother for a quick audience he does137 push-ups, 52 knee-bends, stands on his head for three minutes. After the audience he takes his bath.
It is now nearing8 o'clock. While the royal limo is sent to pick up Sabrina (she already knows it will be the one with no license plate) he dances in the privacy of his bedroom apartment to the jungle beat of the Degrees. He also tries out some claquets. This can go on for hours. Often important affairs of the state have to wait. Then, finally, to Annabel's, where Louis, the suave and discreet maitre D' leads him to the first table on the right, just behind the cash register. It is now 10.00 p.m. and by 10.12 the heir to the throne collapses into a deep slumber. Sabrina, smoking away,also passes out. It is now precisely 10.15.
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