DIARY A. N. WILSON
It has been a very dull election, or 'pre- election', so far. That is what we should expect, since, whatever the outcome, we all know that we shall end up with a thunder- ingly dull prime minister. The last time there was a possibility of an interesting man being elected as prime minister was when Michael Foot was leader of the Labour Party. Absurdly, he was spoken about at the time as if he were gaga, when he can only have been in his sixties. Politicians who were dull dogs in their youth often flower into something a little more exciting as they pass their 70th birthdays. They have less to lose, I suppose. Consider Gladstone — an odious prig when he was complaining about the Maynooth Grant in 1839, but by any standards an impressive giant of a man during the Midlothian campaigns 40 years later. The examples of Golda Meir, Ade- nauer and Churchill all make us realise that politicians need a long time to get into their stride. Look at the mess in Russia since they started the foolish experiment of allowing the under-60s to run their affairs. The Americans and the Chinese know bet- ter. Our party leaders today are all far too young. To get a bit of fizz back into the election, I should recommend a three-cor- nered fight with Barbara Castle as leader of the Labour Party and for the Liberals 'Baroness' Seear as she is always called on Question Time. (Why not 'Lady Seear'? We don't speak of 'Baron Weidenfeld'.) Now, are there any remarkable and energetic old ladies whom we could think of to lead the Conservative Party?
With older and morepassionate party leaders, I do not believe that the election debate would have degenerated so quickly into a sordid wrangle about tax. It really seems like a competition between the two major parties to see who can talk the more nonsense or tell the more lies. As someone who earns what Mr Kinnock would call 'well over' £30,000 per annum, my heart does not exactly leap at his extravagant tax proposals. On the other hand, Mr Lamont does not help by claiming that Labour's tax plans will cost people such as nurses and teachers an extra £1,000. This was demon- strably false, as such stalwart Conservative newspapers as the Times and the Daily Telegraph immediately pointed out. Neither side in the debate seems capable of addressing two simple facts. One is that we all pay far too much tax. The other is that this Government has not spent nearly enough money on social welfare, nor on such necessities as housing and transport. Only politicians or economists, however, Would see these two facts as creating an insoluble problem. If I were given absolute Power for a year, I would be able to reduce everyone's tax burden and raise the level of
public spending on essentials. The simple answer is to cut out unnecessary spending.
First thing to go in my budget would be any contributions to the bottomless well of the European Community. (Why should we subsidise Portuguese steelworks or badly- run Greek farms?) Second thing to go would be our entirely unnecessary nuclear arsenal. (In what circumstances is it imagin- able that we should ever use these weapons?) Third would be 25 per cent of the Civil Service.
I •
know that I can save my country and
that I alone can!' Those words of Pitt the Younger must often have come to the lips of bar-parlour pundits such as myself. They can now be heard on the London stage in Alan Bennett's play The Madness of George III, which I have now seen twice, and could easily see a third time. In Bennett's version, all the politicians — Charles James Fox, Pitt, Sheridan and Burke — are stereotypes — and so are the doctors, but they are skil- fully manipulated stereotypes. They just about work as characters in the historical drama, but they also serve — not as metaphors for modern political figures, exactly, but as lorgnettes with which to view our modern parliamentary puppet theatre. Pitt's 'monetarism' has produced hearty laughter in the audience on both the nights I have seen the play. The essence of the play, however, is the character of George III — a maddening, as well as a mad, per- son, but made completely endearing by Bennett's sympathetic pen and by Nigel Hawthorne's superb performance. The only false touch in the entire thing is the appear- ance, in the last five minutes of the play, of some 20th-century doctor who thinks she has 'explained' the king's madness. I remember when this woman's book appeared that it made a great impression on Prince Charles. On more than one occa- sion the Prince of Wales has expressed his admiration for 'Farmer George'. HRH is firmly of the 'George III wasn't batty' school of thought. Well, he would be, wouldn't he? One of the more touching features of Alan Bennett's characterisation of George III is that he spluttered and stammered and looked wild-eyed if you mentioned certain — ahem — colonies. I have no idea if this is historically true, or whether Bennett has cleverly invented it to amuse the ecstatic Broadway audiences which the play will certainly receive. One of the doctors or attendants only had to say 'America' by mistake to the King and the symptoms of apoplectic horror would pass over his poor old face.
Athe ripe old age of 41, 1 am very excited to announce that next month I shall be launching my own new magazine, the Middle Age Spread. It has been quite diffi- cult to raise the necessary capital but, thanks to a couple of very generous back- ers, we have done so. I have felt for some time now that our newspapers, magazines, television and radio programmes have been directed too generously either towards the young — one thinks of programmes such as Blue Peter, and newspapers such as the Boys' Own — or towards the elderly. What of those in the 35 to 55 age-bracket, who are not going to be content with publica- tions meant either for the geronts or for the juveniles? Hence the MAS, as it is already known by our advertising team. We've got a strong force of columnists lined up — Nigella Lawson on Restaurants, Charles Moore on Politics and a food column from Digby Anderson. There will be a column of Soho gossip — title as yet undecided — by Jeff Bernard, and Taki has promised me a weekly account of Life in the Fast Lane. Altogether, I think the MAS will provide that necessary new look in the magazine world which we have been looking for.
Previous page
