18 NOVEMBER 2000, Page 25

Banned wagon

A weekly survey of the things our rulers want to prohibit `WE can't have an economy made up of people selling burgers to each other,' devotees of the manufacturing industry like to say of the shift towards a service- based economy. Indeed we can't, not least because the government is trying to render the activity illegal. Earlier this month it became illegal to sell burgers and hot dogs in the royal parks. Traders will be liable to fines of up to £1,000 and to have their trolleys seized. That frying burgers causes a nuisance is true. But the words of the Arts Minis- ter Alan Howarth reveal the almost manic devotion with which this govern- ment sets out to stop people doing things: 'For far too long visitors to our royal parks have been hoodwinked by the burger bandits into paying exorbi- tant prices for unhygienic fare . . . not only that, but there have been worrying media reports that organised crime may be behind the traders' operations.'

In other words, a government which attacks the Fourth Estate at every turn for its 'distorted' reporting on matters such as European integration is suddenly prepared to take it at its word when it comes to finding an excuse to outlaw an entire industry. And why are customers `hoodwinked' when they have merely made a free decision to buy an item of sustenance at a clearly advertised price? When it comes to hoodwinking cus- tomers, that is surely the role of upmar- ket restaurants, with their arcane cover and service charges.

The real reason the government can- not tolerate the concept of hot-dog stands, one suspects, is that their peri- patetic nature makes it difficult for tax collectors and the hygiene police to keep tabs on them. In the modern world nobody can be trusted to sell anyone anything unless it is approved by official- dom — in spite of the failings of those officials. Many of us avoid burger stands not because of their supposed hygiene deficit, but because we don't want to catch Whitehall's finest product, BSE.

Ross Clark