Shop and ride
Matthew d’Ancona says there’s more to Disneyland now than rollercoasters The first article I ever wrote for The Spectator, some years ago, was a cinephile’s defence of Walt Disney and his works against the snobbery of the critical establishment. I ended that piece with an impassioned undertaking to any children that I might one day have to let them enjoy all that the wonderful world of Disney had to offer.
As every parent knows, today’s rhetorical pledge is tomorrow’s bagful of Mickey Mouse souvenirs. And so it was that I found myself with the d’Ancona brood on Eurostar, heading towards Disneyland Resort Paris for a long weekend.
Even the stoniest-hearted parent would be hard-pushed not to treasure the look on the face of a small child when he first walks through the turnstile of the park and sees what is in store. We visited at the tail-end of the Hallowe’en season, which meant regular spooky parades and pumpkins galore: it is the attention to detail that captivates children, the sense that they have truly entered a separate realm. And the fact that things work, the place is clean, and the sit-down food is good keeps the parents happy.
On the scorecard: Peter Pan’s ride on a boat through twilit London towards Never Never Land was rated highly by Zac (5), Teddy (3) and me (38). Teddy insisted on savouring the laser-zapping delights of the Buzz Lightyear ride three times in a row, while his elder brother was justly entranced by Pirates of the Caribbean. Their father proved there’s life in the old dog yet by braving the hair-raising Space Mountain (a rollercoaster in the dark) and the Aerosmith Rock’n’Roller Coaster (a heavy-rock ride that shoots you from 0 to 60 mph in less than three seconds). But what about the family member for whom the wonders of Frontierland and Fantasyland are all too resistible? True, the Disneyland Hotel where we stayed is right by the parks, and has plenty to keep you occupied après-Buzz, including a nice pool and a space on the second floor where the children can meet Disney characters and get their yellow autograph books signed (did you know, for instance, that Tigger is called Tigroo in France?). And we had some good meals amid all the adrenaline, particularly in the Blue Lagoon, a fine seafood restaurant which sits inside the Pirates of the Caribbean complex and gives the illusion of balmy outside dining.
But for those in search of true escape there is La Vallée Village (www.lavallee village.com), a ten-minute shuttle run from the resort, which offers retail therapy in 75 prestigious brand stores. This facility is in the same chain as Bicester Village in Oxfordshire and provides soothing respite for those who prefer Max Mara to Mickey Mouse, Polo Ralph Lauren to Pluto and Salvatore Ferragamo to Simba the Lion King. Chacun à son goût.
The long white malls are a pleasant break from the hurlyburly of the parks, and have just about everything you need to go home with a suitcase full of Christmas shopping (alongside the Buzz Lightyear atom smasher, of course). To be blunt: if you cannot abide Disney but your children love it, you can still come to the resort, divide the labour between the two of you, and have a good break. It brings a whole new meaning to shop and ride.
For those who like to prepare, I recommend two books. A Brit’s Guide to Disneyland Resort Paris by Simon Veness (Foulsham) is full of good tips and maps, and helps you and your young plan a route through the daunting variety of rides, shows and attractions. Those with a serious interest in film should also have a look at Robin Allan’s fantastic Walt Disney and Europe (John Libbey), which shows that the two have always been inseparable — Snow White, after all, was not born in Tennessee and that in this park Disney ‘returns to Europe the sources that it has used and Americanised; the Magic Kingdom has come full circle’.
Will we be back? Well, what do you think? The boys have persuaded me to celebrate my 40th birthday chez Mickey: a return date selected because, as I need no reminding, it is not far away.
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