19 APRIL 2008, Page 79

your problEMs solvEd

Dear Mary

Q. Whenever I have my friends round for dinner, someone’s mobile phone will always ring and they will always answer it at the table. When I extend my next invitation, how do I request that they turn their phones off on arrival? I do find such behaviour at the dinner table unacceptable but many treat their phones as a natural extension of their arms.

K.T., Chesterfield A. Disarm guests by letting them see themselves as victims of mobile culture rather than heroes of it. As they arrive greet them warmly saying you have so looked forward to seeing them and giving them a break from their hectic schedules. Then add, ‘You won’t have to fend off bullies all through dinner, will you? I mean the usual bullies won’t be persecuting you through your mobile all evening, will they?’ No doubt your friends will self-importantly reply that, yes, they are expecting urgent calls from X,Y and Z, which they will have to take. Or that they will have to keep their eye on their BlackBerry because of an urgent email coming through. You should coo sympathetically, ‘Poor you! But you won’t be able to enjoy dinner then. And nor will we because we will all feel so sorry for you. Why not go and make some calls now and then turn the things off. You deserve a break, you poor things.’ In this way you will make your point while giving the SIPs (self-important persons) pause for thought.