SKINFLINT'S CITY DIARY

0a Journalistic Clan Irving— Clifford, vicl and Clive — are related only through bility to lurch into literary squalls. Atnerican Clifford Irving claims to lleward Hughes's official biographer and receiving rather more judicial than C IZI)eo `arY attention. David Irving wrote a i ll ing book on Peenemunde, The c06Pe's Nest, and lost the expensive PQ17 nvey libel action, and is now being pursued by his publishers and codefendants Cassell.

Clive Irving, a sharp dresser, has had his inglorious literary moment. A year or two ago he negotiated for Thomson Newspapers the purchase of what was reputed. to be the Mussolini diaries for £150,000. Later it emerged that these diaries were the work of a pair of resourceful Italian ladies and had been sold shortly after the war to an Italian newspaper group. Anyway, the story goes that they were accepted by the Times and the £150,000 paid over, before Gordon Brunton, Lord Thomson's managing director and chief executor, realised, they had been diddled.

He was not encouraged when he went to report to Lord Thomson to find him suffused and trembling: 'Ah, Brunton, sit down. I want to see you right now.'

Brunton, not unnaturally, thinking that the Irving story had reached him, murmured, 'Sir?'

Thomson produced from a pile of accounts and budgetary statements a tabulated sheet on the company's motor fleet.

Now, here I have an operating statement on the eleven cars and fourteen chauffeurs at Thomson House. If I am not mistaken, it was mentioned at the last executive meeting and agreed by you that this fleet would be cut by two and that we would work with one less chauffeur. Isn't that so? '

Brunton said that he had worse news and told at length of the loss of the £150,000 on the Mussolini diaries.

Lord Thomson, regaining his composure, stated. I charge that to "scoop angst." Bad but understandable in a leading news gathering group like ours. Let me have a report when you can, but now I want to get back to this other matter. Now gasoline consumption per automobile is up...'

There is a moral here and it is that Lord Thomson is a better businessman than any of the touchy folk he has running his business.

Scoop starvation

Jeremy Deeds, editor of the Evening Standard Londoner's Diary (suffering from an acute fit of scoop starvation), divulged to a wider audience the mysterious proposal that has resulted in the pushy and tiresome Mrs Inchbald joining the Monopolies Commission) as reported here last week. This appointment needs airing and investigation. Mrs Inchbald says that some 'bodies' put her name forward. I think it was more likely some body and that somebody was a friend, Mr John Davies, the Secretary of State for the Department of Trade and Industry. We all, like Mr Davies, admire divorcees who manage to get little businesses like design schools in Eaton Square going, but they are no better suited to work on the Monopolies Commission at £1,950 salary than any school-leaver who puts in a term or two with the local kindergarten.

Theatrical clothes

There are ugly developments in the theatrical old clothes and costume hire business. On Thursday a friend who wanted to hire something for a fancy dress party went to Nathans, where they were despondent about a takeover bid for their company by their rivals, Bermans — controlled by ATV. The assistant said This takeover is a worrying business that needs referring to the Monopolies Commission.'

The job looks about the right weight for party-loving Jacqueline Inchbald.

Pilot Pigs

"A Pilot Pig Al Scheme is due to start on January 1, 1972. For the greater part of Northern Ireland the scheme will operate on a ' Do-it-yourself ' basis with semen despatched from Ballycraigy Al Centre to the requesting pig breeder's nearest bus station. The insemination of a sow is a relatively simple operation compared with that of a cow, and farmers requesting the ' Do-it-yourself ' service will initially get a demonstration of the technique by our inseminators."

Life continues.