19 FEBRUARY 2005, Page 47

Q. I have a dear friend who suffers from needless

bouts of self-pity. How can I cure her of this problem?

A.B., London W8 A. Why not encourage your friend to pick up pen and paper and put her problem in writing and address it to this very column. This may help to put things in perspective.

If you have a problem, write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.