19 FEBRUARY 2005, Page 47

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

Dear Mary

Q. I like to attend parties if I am invited but, despite the fact that most of my friends are in their forties, they seem to have an unfortunate tendency to want loud music to be playing during these parties, even when there is no dancing opportunity. I find that this means I come away with a sore throat from shouting to make myself heard. What do you suggest, Mary?

R.C., London W2 A. The best way around this is to trigger a verbal torrent from your interlocutor so you don’t have to use your own voice. There are various subjects which will encourage a decent outflow. Why not inquire, ‘You look so healthy. How do you do it?’ Or, with regard to your host or hostess, ‘How did you first meet so-and-so?’ Even, ‘Have you been clamped recently?’ In this way you can sit back, only nodding occasionally to prompt further outpourings, and thereby spare your own voice-box.