Q. The story of Red Chris in last week's issue
brings to mind another tricky issue about house parties, and that is the subject of bringing presents. As a host who occasionally entertains in the country. I do not expect guests to arrive with a gift but am nevertheless delighted to receive one if they do. My pleasure does not, however, extend to receiving second-hand goods. A good friend of mine, the owner of a hilltop estate in Wiltshire and a schloss in Austria, recently came to stay with his wife and four children, and presented me with a box containing a small bar of soap and three bottles of bath unguents. all inscribed 'The Franklin Hotel', along with a miniature bottle of whisky from the hotel mini-bar. Any ideas as to how I might make him realise what a cheapskate he is without spoiling a valued friendship?
R.C., London NH/6 A. Next time you are a guest in this friend's schloss, why not punish him with an unsuitable house present of your own? Give him a Kensington Market-style junkie/hippie pencilcase-sized zip bag with mirrored beads, costing roughly £3.99, saying that it is a 'remotecontrol cover' for his television set. He will be unable to resist expressing surprise at the impracticality of the item, at which point you can feign dismay, saying, 'Oh, but I thought you and I had an ongoing joke. . . about giving each other useless presents!'
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