High life
Safer in London
Taki
INew York
f I were Jemima Khan I'd make sure my kiddies spend the coming summer months in good old London, with granny Annabel or uncle Robin if need be, because those clowns back home could be thinking the unthinkable. The facts are that 12 million souls will be vaporised in a jiffy if the holy warriors decide to make real war rather than so-so love. Pervaiz Musharraf is a good man, but he's got as many as 500,000 jihadis in his midst committed to the cause of forcing India out of the sector of Kashmir it controls.
What a mess! For any of you unfamiliar with these chappies, the jihadis are the inheritors of the mujahedin, those ex-nice guys who played dirty with the Soviets for ten years with our help, and then turned even dirtier towards Uncle Sam in particular and the West in general. Mind you, a nuclear war between India and Pakistan would do wonders for the overpopulation of the subcontinent, but — and this is an original thought — birth control would be a safer option. Pakistan trained and armed many of these madmen, employing them in order to wrest control of Kashmir from India, and now the Paki army has a problem. And a hell of a problem it is. I don't care what the so-called experts say or write, there is no way Musharraf and his army — if it is his army — can neutralise these groups. Jihad has been a part of the defence arrangement of Pakistan for the last 20 years, and I'd like to see any expert — including my friend lmran — explain to me how the army will get rid of 500,000 fanatics eager to have some R and R in Allah-land, virgins included.
See what I mean when I say it's time for Jemima's kiddies to try Ascot, Wimbledon, anything but Lahore and its environs? Patriotism aside, what a hell of a kind of place would condemn a woman to death by stoning for the crime of having been raped?
Anwar Ali Khan, no relation, a whitebearded Paki judge, followed the letter of the Koran-based law, known as hudood, that mandates death by stoning if a woman produces a child outside wedlock. A 26year-old, Zafran Bibi, did just that, after she was brutally raped by the brother of her husband. For some strange reason, Allah did not foresee such a situation, and because of his negligence a totally innocent
victim of rape has to be stoned to death. All I can say is, even Jack Straw would be better than this clown Anwar Khan. Although rape is a crime under hudood, in the land of Imran the voodoo that accused men practise in court makes male rape very difficult to prove. The last man convicted of rape was an upper-class Englishman who tried to kiss his driver, another male. Both were stoned to death (just kidding). On the other hand, as many as half the women who report a rape are charged with adultery (this time, not kidding).
The only time I visited Pakistan was in 1971. For a change. India and Pakistan were at war. I reported that the Pakistani forces had beaten the Indians and that Dakar had not fallen to the Bengali rebels. It cost me my job — mind you, no big loss. I based my exclusive reports on confidential information passed to me by a colonel in the Pakistani army, one I spent my days playing polo with. While we played polo, Bangladesh became a sovereign state. So much for reliable sources. I have other great memories of my visit to Pakistan — such as eating a dog posing as a hamburger in the Karachi Hilton. The good news is, I did manage to read a wonderful book on Verlaine by Joanna Richardson while recovering from having inadvertently devoured man's best friend. Oh yes, I almost forgot. After Pakistan, Hue, near the DMZ in Vietnam, seemed like paradise.
But perhaps I'm being too hard on Jemimaland. The trouble is, I can't see a way out for Mushie baby. As I can't see a way out for these conmen whom we refer to as our leaders, namely the EU and its illegitimate son Tony. Multiculturalism is the cancer that will kill us all, but they refuse to face it. My buddy John O'Sullivan has written a shattering piece in National Review about how the murder of Pim Fortuyn should make us think. In brief, liberalism and human rights are incompatible with Islam. The West's concept of human rights — such as equality between the sexes — is a no-no where the towelheads are concerned. Liberalism, according to John, is a Western invention, yet the press treats it, along with nationalism, as fascism. Here, in the Bagel, any criticism of Muslims is treated by the Left as fascist, and any criticism of Israel's oppression of the Palestinians as Hitlerian.
O'Sullivan is astute when he points out that feminists, Jews, gays and the workers are now the electoral group that counts. Who would have believed it? Gays, feminists, Jews and the workers are now united in opposing what the bureaucrooks of the EU stand for. And the religious Right, I may add.
Time for me to head for London. Ascot, Wimbledon, and hopefully babysitting for Imran and Jemima's kiddies, are better bets than trying to convince multiculturalist phonies that mass immigration of towelheads is especially destructive,
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